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Sudden Loss of Father


JHarding1020

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JHarding1020

I'm having a really hard time since my father passed away about 2 months ago. It was very sudden and our family felt rushed to have the funeral without an autopsy to confirm the cause of death in order for out of town family members to attend the funeral. One minute he was there and the next, he was gone. They ruled it as a heart attack since they had nothing else to go on. He was 59 and I'm the eldest daughter at 31. I never imagined losing my father before turning 40. 

I feel so stuck right now and have panic attacks and insomnia pretty regularly. My spouse doesn't know how to help or support me so it makes me feel even more isolated. I have been seeing a counselor for three sessions but we haven't made much headway yet. 

I'm so scared to lose myself in this grieving process. Is this normal? I am not trying to fight the grief but am having a hard time letting it out because I know my sadness won't bring him back. I also am experiencing a lot of guilt about trying to keep it together and not let people see me down at work, with friends, etc. 

Any advice on coping with the loss is greatly appreciated!

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@JHarding1020 I am so sorry for your loss, my father passed away almost two months ago. He was 54 & Im 25.

Its pretty hard for people around you that are supporting you, as they cannot truly understand how you feel. Believe me though, they are trying. This is something i struggle with, being able to relate to the people around me, sometimes i find it makes it a bit harder, but other occasions easier. 

I also feel the same with getting lost in the grieving process. I often try to block it out as it hurts too much. But i have realised, letting yourself really cry wail be hysterical, or whatever you need to do, it gives you a release to the sadness and often after that you feel calmer. 

Personally i try to keep myself busy with doing things i enjoy, things my dad enjoyed, eating at places he liked and listening to his music. Not sure if this will help you at all, but sometimes it works for me. 

Everyone will cope differently (as i have realised) it really is just about finding what works for you, in this case you need to be a bit selfish and do whatever makes you feel like you can cope (easier said than done i know) but you will get through it. The journey will be difficult, but it will make you such an incredibly strong person. 

take care x

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