Recently loss spouse

[Mydagwood]

I recently lost my husband to an unexpected death. Just looking to find others that can relate to what I am going through. I have faith in the Lord but looming for more help.

[KayC]

You've found the right place to come to.  There are plenty of others here that have been through it and understand.  I am sorry you lost your husband, my husband's death was unexpected too.  Keep coming here and posting.

[KMB]

Mydagwood,   I'm so sorry for the recent loss of your husband. Mine passed suddenly also. Kept me in shock for a long time. Never going to get used to this lonely, empty void. This is a safe place to express whatever you need. to.

[Francine]

19 hours ago, Mydagwood said:

I recently lost my husband to an unexpected death. Just looking to find others that can relate to what I am going through. I have faith in the Lord but looming for more help.

I am so sorry for your loss and can imagine the pain you are experiencing now.  I also lost my husband to an unexpected death and the pain is still unbearable and I can't wrap my mind around the fact that he's actually gone.  We had been married for nearly 45 years and he was my best friend, my world, my life, my everything.  We were inseparable and both recently retired and loved being in one another company.  I am grateful that my Charles did not suffer and knew how much I loved him with he left this world. 

I know it's hard, and I'm not one to sugar-coat this journey - it will surely become even harder before it gets easier.  That's Grief - and with grief, comes pain.   Grief is not easy for anyone; a continuous roller coaster of emotions.  The pain can be overwhelming and you may feel as if your insides are being ripped from you; personally, I think the pain never goes away....it may lesson, but always there - hidden in a pocket inside of you  - ready to come back when you least expect.  Losing your husband, will alter your life forever.  Sometimes allowing  yourself to cry is the scariest thing you can ever do, and one of the bravest.  It takes a lot of courage to face the facts, stare loss in the face,  bare your heart and let it bleed.  But it is the only way to cleanse your wounds and prepare them for healing.  I know first hand how much it hurts to have someone in your heart, but not in your arms.   Hold on to the love you both shared; not the loss.  There is no way to get around grief; you must go through it - and it will be one of the hardest things you will ever do.  But you can and you will.  Don't worry, God is never blind to your tears, never deaf to your prayers, and never silent to your pains. HE sees, HE hears and HE will deliver.   Know there is no way around grief only though it and that you are in the hands of GOD (nothing is better) and you are never lone.  God words are true, in Revelation 21:4 it states, "He will wipe away every tear from their eye.  There will be no more death, sadness, crying, or pain.  All the old ways are gone".  I miss my husband, Charles and always will; I love him and always will, but I know someday I'll be with my Charles only this time it will be forever.   Quoting a post of one of the member here, my Charles "graduated to Heaven", with high honors. 

Sometimes reaching out to others and accepting support might be difficult, particularly when you hurt so much.  The most compassionate self-action you can take at this difficult time is to find a support system of caring friends and relatives who will provide the understanding you need.  Inquire if there are support groups in your area that you might want to attend.  If faith is part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate for you.  Surround yourself with people who understand and support your religious beliefs. Your decision making abilities may be impaired so respect what your body and mind tells you.  Try to get sufficient sleep and eat balance meals. 

I hope you continue to post; there are wonderful people on this forum who will support, encourage and comfort you along this journey.  We are all here together - not by coincidence - but by the grace of God.    My prayer is for God to hold you close, comfort you gently, and carry you through this difficult time. 

[Mydagwood]

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragment. It is so hard. I get so lonely and have this constant empty feeling. I am also looking to find a support group I can go to. My family and friends are great but i need people that can relate to my feelings and personal experience. God Bless to all. Happy Easter.

[M88]

I too am sorry for your loss, Mydagwood.  My partner was killed by a careless driver.  This adjusting to learn to live without our beloved partners is very tough going.  I wish you well in locating a support group.  If there was one in my area I would check it out. Others cannot possibly understand what we are going through but it's great to have their support.  

Sending strength and hugs.

[Mydagwood]

M88,

It is so true. This past week one of my best friends lost her husband. It was so hard to go to the funeral home. The one thing that i could do was be there for her and understand her feelings. This Easter has been hard. I get so lonely. I just try and keep the faith.

 

Husg to you

[HAB's wife]

Mydagwood, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm in a similar situation. It's been 3 weeks since my husband passed. Many, on this forum, are very kind and understanding. It comforts me a great deal to read other's stories and to receive encouragement. I, too, believe in God and some days THAT is the only thing that gets me through! Keep praying and know that God is still very aware of us, all.

[Andy]

1 hour ago, Mydagwood said:

M88,

It is so true. This past week one of my best friends lost her husband. It was so hard to go to the funeral home. The one thing that i could do was be there for her and understand her feelings. This Easter has been hard. I get so lonely. I just try and keep the faith.

 

Husg to you

Mydagwood, I'm truly sorry for the loss of your beloved. I hope you find comfort and peace in the coming hours, days, weeks and months ahead. Like anyone else, I don't have words to make this better, but know I wish I did. 

The loneliness is so overwhelming at times, it's a constant reminder of our loss. It's cruel irony that the one person who could sooth our hearts is the same person we mourn for. I'm closing in on 4 months since I lost my wife, and the loneliness is worse.

I commend your willingness to support a friend, especially after going through this yourself not long before. It's hard enough avoiding triggers, walking into a situation that's loaded with reminders takes no small measure of resolve. 

My wife's passing was also unexpected. The pain is still horrible, but the frequency of my "breakdowns" isn't as much as it was. I've accepted that this will be with me forever, but with a slowly evolving coping process, I hope to better function. You'll find your way, you'll adjust, but it will take time and taking care of yourself. 

Hoping you find peace and comfort,

Andy

[Francine]

11 hours ago, HAB's wife said:

Many, on this forum, are very kind and understanding. It comforts me a great deal to read other's stories and to receive encouragement. I, too, believe in God and some days THAT is the only thing that gets me through! Keep praying and know that God is still very aware of us, all.

Ditto that.  God has restored what is broken and change it into something amazing.  HE is my comfort; literally - I didn't know I could make it without him.  Don't get me wrong - my husband was and still is my world - and I miss him like crazy, but I know that I WILL see him again and this time we won't ever have to part.  At my lowest, God is my hope; at my darkest, God is my light; at my weakest, God is my strength; at my saddest; God is my comforter.   HE is my everything.

 

[KayC]

I honestly don't know how people make it without God in their lives.

[Francine]

Same here - unimaginable.

[HHFaith]

10 hours ago, KayC said:

I honestly don't know how people make it without God in their lives.

My faith, belief, and most importantly trust in my higher power / God has certainly grown since the loss of Pat. I have to believe that there is a good plan for my life, even if that plan is not what I hoped for or expected. Don't get me wrong, it's so hard to really feel that sometimes but I know it's true and I need to believe. And I need to be patient. Trusting God also means trusting his timing. 

[Francine]

HHFaith

You couldn't have said it better.   It's always better to wait a while, trust in God's timing and have things fall into place than to rush and have things fall apart. God's timing is everything. When HE's ready for you to receive it, it will come.   God Bless you, bless us all.

 

 

[KayC]

Amen!