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Anxiety after mother's death

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My mother passed away just 5 weeks ago - she was 67 and I am 37. It was fairly sudden and I am beyond devastated. She was everything to me. I have been incredibly emotional since, crying a lot, at times still in disbelief. I am working with a therapist, who said it is OK to distract myself here and there. I have found that birding and painting are fairly soothing to me, and I have been doing those activities often.

As of late, I have had really intense anxiety. I don't know what I'm specifically anxious over, but I feel it in my stomach and chest. I am just so on edge, but I can't point to exactly what I am anxious about - perhaps just loss in general? and losing other people in my life? I don't know.

Does anyone else have anxiety like this? Any tips on how to make it better?

Also, even when I am trying to distract myself, I feel this general pit in my stomach that all is not right in the world, and that my comfort blanket has been taken away from me. Does anyone else feel like this? This really is just the worst...

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Dear Fletch,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your cherished mom. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know this is a very difficult time.

After my father passed away 6 months ago, I had the same feelings. I told everyone it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I thought I was in control of my life, but the death of my father made me realize how out of control the world really is and there was nothing I could do about it. I was also filled with anger and guilt about what happened leading to this passing. All these raw emotions came to the surface. I was not prepared for my father not to be part of this earth. I know no one is ever prepared, but the shock really knocked me down.

I don't know if anything in particular made me feel better. I kept reading about grief and everyone's else grief journey and in some says I guess it normalized my feelings for me. I also continued to seek out counselling, joining a support group, going to work and finding activities to distract myself. I know its not easy. Day by day, moment by moment and yet still there are still dark moments for me.

Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can.

Thinking of you. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.

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Hi Fletch

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was reading your post and it described just how I feel. My mum passed away early January 5 days after she turned 69...cardiac arrest at home, all very sudden. I too started having anxiety with that feel in the pit of my stomach, horrible isn't it? I went to see my GP who prescribed meds but after reading up about them, I thought I don't want to be dependent on this stuff, so I did a bit of research and found Kalms lavender tablets, they have really helped me, it says take one daily but I have had the odd day where I don't seem to calm my racing heart and take another one. Like you I can't pin point what I'm anxious about but I believe it's all down to grieving. I have also started bereavement counselling as I am suffering from complicated grief. 

I hope things improve for you, sending you a hug x

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