Members cp9042 Posted April 10, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 This month, last year, is when my world changed. It was when my husband went to the hospital for a CT scan for the pain in his back to find out he had Stage IV Pancreatic cancer. It is the worst feeling in the world, and tomorrow is my birthday. I don't know how I will celebrate at all, but I will just try to pull through. Sometimes I don't know if it is worth it at all. I feel so alone and hopeless, and in so much pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted April 10, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 cp9042, i am sorry for how you are feeling. The pain and heartache never seem to end. I find myself doing the same as you. I have been in the habit of keeping each year's calendar ever since I met my husband. Not just appointments, but the special things I wrote in. This time last year, my husband was still here and we were enjoying spring and being outdoors.Every month that has gone by now, I look at that month from the previous year and wonder where it all went so wrong. For your sake, Happy Birthday. We are here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Francine Posted April 10, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 I'm so sorry for you; and I know the world changing feeling. I'm always comparing the times - with my husband and after my husband. The worst feelings, are of course, after my Charles. Nothing matters anymore for me; life is just existing from day to day; no anticipation; no planning; no looking forward to doing things; no expectation; no nothing. It is worth it? I don't know - don't think so; but on the flip side, sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place. Try having a good birthday; I'm sure your husband would have wanted you to. God bless and keep you safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 11, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 CP, I know it sounds hollow to wish you a happy birthday, but I truly hope you will have something good in your day. My birthday after George died, no one remembered, no one wished me a happy birthday all day and I couldn't help but note the disparity between when he was alive and my birthday with him gone, he always made a big deal of it. I cried myself to sleep. I hope you have those around that remember you and make you feel special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Francine Posted April 11, 2017 Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 KayC I am sorry no one remembered your birthday after your George passed - that's so sad and really must have been awful for you. Tell you what - let us know when your birthday is and I promise you, we will all remember - after all, we're family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 11, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 Ah Francine, you are a sweetie. I've gotten more used to things in the years since, but it sure was a rude awakening that first year. Normally my best friend would remember but she was flying out that evening and had that on her mind...now she's moved back to TX and I miss her. One thing I've learned about life, it sure has it's changes, doesn't it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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