Tam2

Grief renewed after robbery

6 posts in this topic

I lost my mother to suicide almost 6 years ago. She shot herself. My brother found her.Two weeks after Mothers Day, 3 days after my 25th birthday, and 10 days before her birthday. We had a strained relationship due to her mental illness, and emotional abuse, so I had a lot of mixed feelings about her death. I felt like I had come a long ways though, until recently. This christmas, my home was robbed, and they took her jewelry. Ever since, its just been over my head, and I cannot shake it. I do not want to grieve like I did 4 years ago. Spring is a really rough time of year for me,  and I am dreading May. I live away from my family, and have not been able to tell them about the robbery. I have a supportive partner and friends, but talking with them just doesn't seem to help. I had a dream last night that my very nice brother had a psychtic breaj and shot me out of anger. Not long ago, I dreamt that my mother faked her suicide as a joke. We threw her a party,  and she asked me where her jewelry box was. I was just wondering if anyone had any helpful coping devices beyond crying in my shower, or had experienced something similar. I know grief is a journey, but I am trying to get back to where I was, or thought I was. I do plan on telling my family, but I want to do it person, and getting away to see them is hard. I dont really expect any advice, but it's been nice to vent. Thanks for reading. 

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Tam, I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother. 4 years ago, my Mother also shot herself during the holidays, in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and my daughter and I found her.  An image ingrained in my brain forever. Never in a million years did I think my Mother would do that. So, I understand the journey you have been through. 

As you know, our lives will never be the same. We have had to find a new norm and we will probably never truly trust another human being. You have been through a lot. Even though your relationship with your Mom was strained, you still loved her and any of her things left behind materially was and is precious to you. When that person robbed your home, it was like they were taking away a piece of what little you have left of your Mom. It also has shaken your faith in people once again because someone has betrayed you and hurt you. Plus, it is one more hurt in life and you feel like you just can't take anymore pain.

You will always be sensitive but you have been through the hardest part and proven you are a survivor. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my Mom or what happened. But you become somewhat more at peace. Continue to pray and talk about it. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sincerely, Sherry.

 

 

 

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Thank you for the kind words, Sherry. Yesterday was a hard day for me, but I am glad to have found this site. Even reading other people's stories, gives me a feeling of connection that is hard to find in the real world. I wish you and your daughter the best.

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Just checking in to see how you are doing? Praying for comfort and strength for you. 

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Thank you for asking, Sherry. I am doing ok. I realized that I do not have to work on Mother's Day this year, which is a relief for me. I usually work, and end up fighting panic attacks. My boyfriend and I are going to have a facebook-free day, and go see the Beauty and the Beast remake; my Mom had taken me to see the original when I was a kid. One of my favorite memories of her, so I thought it would be a nice thing to do.

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Tam2- you are not alone in revisiting the weightier end of the grief pool so many years later. This June will mark the 7th since my partner of 16 years took her own life. I am in the process of preparing to move from our home and in the pleasure of the coming change there are days and waves of guilt that crash on the shores of my consciousness. I finally found the courage to say "yes" to leaving the home we built together and here this comes again. I am much stronger these seven years later, but amazed that the boat can get rocked at all. I feel frustrated that I this far out I "shouldn't " talk about it. I "should" be over this and I don't feel like I can talk about these difficult days....but I sign on to a grief forum and get reminded that even this is "normal" and ok. Thank you for sharing your story. While I hate that we feel these things, at least we are not alone in the universe. May our springs pass with some measure of delight in this life. May our courage to live grow ever strong. May we remember we hurt so because we loved...

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