SusieSue

Not coping with loss of Dad

10 posts in this topic

Hi everyone. I'm new here. Just needed somewhere to reach out. Hope that's ok? 

I lost my Dad two weeks ago, I am 54, he was 84. Although in retirement he moved away with my Mum we remained so very close. He was my rock, my go-to person for any problems, also the person I laughed so much with. I am not coping. The funeral is the day after tomorrow. I have to write the eulogy and deliver it. I just don't know how I'm going to do it.

emotionally I am very unstable, one minute ok next minute in tears. One minute happy, the next grumpy and snappy. Physically I am exhausted, feeling confused and dizzy.

this is horrible. How do we get through this? 

Susie x

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Dear SusieSue,

I'm so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved father. Everything you are saying and feeling is normal part of grief. Losing a parent is a terrible shock. And it takes a toll on our minds and bodies. I know this is a very difficult time.

I also lost my father at age 84. 5 months later I am still struggling with his passing. I try to take it day by day. Its the best I can do. Lean on friends and family. And try to be as kind and gentle with yourself as possible.

If you want to maybe consider talking to a grief counselor, joining a support group, there are also great websites like The Grief Healing Blog, What's Your Grief, The Tiny Buddha, GriefShare. Org and The Grief Recovery Method.

Please continue to posts. We are all here to listen and support you. Thinking of you. Sending you hugs.

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Thank you so much for your kindness and advice xx

 

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Hi SusieSue

I am in the same situation as you and I am so sorry for your loss. My dad was 82 and I am almost 50. He died a little over two weeks ago on the 2o. I wish I had something helpful to say, but I am also struggling. I just wanted to let you know, you are not alone and I think it must get easier. I think we will always miss our dads, but it won’t be this intense. At least that’s what I tell myself. I think it's one day at a time. Maybe even one hour at a time because one hour I am OK and the next I am crying holding his picture.

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Hi there, I'm so sorry for your loss. Isn't it just the most awful feeling? But through this forum I hope we can all help each other through it. I'm here if you need an ear. 

My mum, my son and I sat and wrote Dad's eulogy last evening. There were tears, but laughter too. It really helped spending those hours just talking about Dad. Feeling a bit better this morning but I know there'll be ups and downs.

take care xxx

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@SusieSue Dear Susie 

Sorry for your loss :( My dad passed away just over a month ago, he was 54. Im 25 years old & my dad was my best friend/

I think losing a parent at any age is a terribly sad thing. Be proud that you are going to speak at his funeral, that is such a brave thing to do and something he would also be very proud of you for doing. 

I too am going through the up and down emotional phases, one minute ok, one minute complete head loss, but I think grieving is a process, that unfortunately is unpredictable and comes in waves. 

I am so grateful for the 25 years of memories my dad gave me and the great father daughter relationship we had. This is something you should cherish forever, and is something that will help you get through. 

Do things that your father would have enjoyed doing, listen to his favourite songs, go to places he liked (when you feel ready of course), hopefully this can kind of give you a little bit of happiness.. xxxx

 

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I'm very sorry for your loss.  Losing a parent is emotional, and everything you described rings true to the stages of grief.  I know for me, there hasn't been any order to them and it's regularly back and forth, never knowing how the next day, or the next hour will be.  I lost my mom 2 months ago on the 9th.  During those first few weeks, it helped to share stories about her.  With family, or friends as they visited, and even during her funeral.  It sounds like a night of talking about your dad with your mom and son has been comforting to you as well.  And maybe that will help you in getting through this.  It's going to be a roller coaster, and it will be for quite some time, but there are breaks in it.  Moments of comfort in remembering them, as well as complete distractions from it.  They can help to soften the edges at times you really need them. 

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Thank you everyone, you are all so kind. His funeral is in the morning, so I'm trying to prepare myself and be strong and supportive. We'll see how it goes xxx

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Dear SusieSue,

How are you doing after the service?

I know this is a very difficult time. Thinking of you and your family. Sending you all my thoughts and prayers.

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Hi everyone, thank you again for your thought. The funeral was beautiful and fitting. It's been a tough week since. A rollercoaster. I decided to write down in a poem my current feelings. Thought maybe it may help others too. Love and blessings xx

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