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How do I get on with out my dad who I wish was a dad to me


Erna

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My dad Just pass 3/4 and I miss him but he was never nice to me I was never disrespectful to him but he just never was a nice guy I still try to care for him because he was my dad up until his last day people tell me remember the good days I can't remember one I want to feel something from this but I am lost in pain and not sure wonder if anyone have this pain 

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Dear Erna,

I'm so sorry for your loss. No matter what relationship we have with our parents, losing our mom or dad is still very traumatic. Its only natural you have these feelings. Please know we are here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Thinking of you. Sending you love and hugs.

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@Erna, hello sweetheart. My name is Christee, and I understand what you're going through. 

All I can tell you is, 

It doesn't matter if he was nice or mean to you because he's no longer here. Cherish the memories that made you smile every now and then, and be grateful you had a father. You gotta let go of all the negative you knew about him. Just try to remember the positive. It will help with the grieving process. 

Don't remember him for the rudeness or the lack of care that he showed, some people are just like that. 

Let go of the bad.

I promise, it's not important to remember that. But it is so very important to remember all the little things. 

I hope this helps sweetie, 

Good luck. 

 

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Hi Erna so sorry for your loss.

Sounds like you are experiencing the same as me, my therapist called it "complicated grief". 

I didnt have a good relationship with my mum and I spent years feeling angry at her and now she is gone and I don't feel angry at her no more just feel very sad, wishing things had been different, even feeling guilty that maybe I could have been a better daughter, but bottom line is I miss her because despite everything she was my mum. 

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