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Little brother died in a prison cell


Bo's Sis

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A few days ago, March 27, 2017 at 9:30 am I got a phone call that changed my life forever. When I answered it I heard my mom say"Bo's dead". My first thought was I could not have heard her right because that can't be true. So I asked her who is dead and she repeated the two words I didn't want to hear "Bo's dead". I remember screaming no and everything after that is a blur. Days have gone by and I can't remember where the time has gone. 

Let me give you a little background on my relationship with my baby brother. Bo's was born in 1968, I was 4 years old and from the minute he was brought home from the hospital he was mine. I'm second to the oldest in a family of 8 kids, the oldest girl and Bo was the youngest boy. We grew up close to each other, our other siblings are scattered around the country but me and Bo never left each other unless he was locked up which he has been a lot. As a matter of fact he has been locked up in San Quinton prison for the past 12 years and was getting out next month. Bo had the use of a cell phone even though he was an inmate and we kept in touch everyday. We had so many plans for when he got out, he kept promising me that he would take care me. My life isn't that great right now, I am homeless and no income. I've been counting the days til he came home.

Then at 4am on march 27 my baby brother died from a heroin overdose sitting in his cell. His life ended and so has mine. I don't think I have ever felt this much pain in my whole life, my heart and soul ache so much. People flock to our parents, to my nephew but I sit all alone in a friends shed I have been sleeping jn. I haven't been included in plans to get him home, we live a long ways from the prison, or in the ceremony plans. No body calls to see if I'm OK or if I need anything. People should understand that a sibling grieves deeply when another sibling dies. But instead they are forgotten or ignored or left out. 

I want my brother home like we planned, I want to hug him one more time, I want one more text from him. I want this unbearable pain to go away. I don't know how to go on without him. He was going to make life better again, us against the world. Now my world has collapsed.

 

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I'm in so much pain right now and nobody cares. I feel as if I must have died to because nobody checks on me or gets in touch with me or answers me. This pain is unbearable. I cry and I cry and I cry. There's no one to comfort me and its been that way for too long. The only one that cared is gone and he will never be back. He was suppose to join me when he got out of prison next month, that will never be. So it looks like I'm going to join him instead. 

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R.I.P. Bo.

11/01/1968 - 03/27/2017

Us against the world...

Wuv u....

Over & Out.

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Hi Bo's sis,

I'm really sorry for the loss of your brother. It must be so hard, just before you could be together again. I lost my wife to suicide, but as she was very ill I saw it coming someday. Still the shock when it actually happens is immense. Getting this kind of news out of the blue is surely devestating.

I can't tell you what to do. I still don't know what I do and it's seven months. All I can tell you is let yourself grief in whatever way you feel. Don't let anyone tell you what you should do or what you should feel. You had a bond with your brother and that will continue as painful as it is. Don't expect answers to all those questions that may be in your mind but also don't feel any guilt or regrets, It takes a long time to deal with this, so take that time for yourself.

I wish you all the strength you need.

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Thank you, I feel so lost, now they don't know if he overdosed or if he was intentionally given bad drugs to take him out. Waiting for the autopsy results to come in. Either way its the same outcome....my brother is not coming home ever again. His son chose to have him cremated which my brother didn't want. 

 

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Sorry about your wife. My kids dad committed suicide in 99 and my husband was murdered in 04. 

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Send ing prayers to you and marcel. My mother was murdered in 96, father died of a heroine overdose January 2017 and my little brother died March 2017. His death is still under investigation. Possible murder or suicide. Life is so hard but we have to be strong. We will see our loved ones again in heaven . 

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