Loss of both Parents

[KatieL93]

I lost my Dad when I was 15, very suddenly in a motorbike accident on holiday in France. I said goodbye to him but waving out my bedroom door before going to school. 2 days later he had the accident and passed away on impact. I changed forever as a person then. My mum did not cope for the first few months, I have almost no memory of that time (blessing and a curse) then she fought her hardest to look after myself and my siblings.

When I was 20 my Mum developed Bowel Cancer and I thought my whole world was falling away. I can't express how close we were and how deeply and completely I loved and adored her. Each time she had a round of Chemo or an operation, I thought "this is it, she's beat it", then it would spread. First bowel, then liver, lung and finally brain. I stopped working and lived with her and cooked, cleaned and made her laugh (I hope). When she found out about her brain tumour, she was terrified. So was I.

A few months later the Sue Ryder at home team told us that she needed a hospital and there we went for a week. I had to sign a DNR and I can't begin to think of the other things I saw and she said then. She was allowed home with us and a hospital bed, we cared for her and gave medicine. She passed away with all of us around her. Loved, adored and so missed. I was 22 at the time and it was in October 2015. I'm 24 now and have moved out of our home this week. 

I know it might sound dramatic, but I cannot see a future without both my parents. When I get married, have children or just have a bit of news to tell them. I have no friends in this situation (which I am thankful for) but do have therapy. I thought I would turn to this forum for some relief. People just cannot comprehend the feeling of grief on this scale, I hope if anyone wants to talk to me or share their experience, I can help.

 

Katie x

[Zara19]

   ..

[Lt1981]

@KatieL93 wow I'm so very sorry for all you have had to go through. You are very strong and brave. I can't imagine what that would have been like had I been in my early 20s. I'm 36 and cried like a baby last night about my mom that passed away a couple days ago. She has multiple myeloma cancer. I don't know that you will get professional advice here on this forum but I find it helpful that I'm not alone in greiving, that others are feeling my pain and if others can make it through so can I.