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Bayberry321

guilt over brother's cancer death

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I should be old enough to know better but I feel a horrible crushing guilt over my older brother's death eight months ago. He had been having symptoms for about a year but resisted seeking help until I broke down and begged him to go; by then it was too late. He kept his cancer diagnosis hidden from me; I found him nearly gone in his room and he died that night. I can't stop thinking that had I gone to someone else in the family, they might have convinced him to get to the doctor sooner. I feel I neglected my duties as his sister and friend. I can't help but think that had I made one decision differently, he might be here with us today instead of wherever you go after death. Logically, I know he was an adult and responsible for his own decisions; emotionally and psychologically I'm a wreck. Why can't I let go, especially when I know that he would want me to?

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You can't let go because you loved him. It's okay. I'm so sorry about the loss of your brother. I think we all have guilt over the death of our loved ones--why didn't we do this, and why did we do that--we can drive ourselves crazy over all the "what ifs..." You have to trust that he made his choices based on what was best for him. 

You don't have to let go either--you just have to move forward. You can still love him, and still be mad at him, and still feel all the other emotions that you are feeling. It's perfectly okay. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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I can understand your pain of loosing the brother. I am very sorry to know about your brother. This is very common that, most of the people hides the cancer from other people. But if the cancer is the disease which diagnosed in the early stage is easy to treat. My sister was suffering from breast cancer stage 2, she had taken treatment from breast cancer radiation Suffolk using breast brachytherapy to cure her breast cancer.

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