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My dream last night


Tineke H

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Hi All,last night I dreamt of my Steve and it has rattled me terribly.I know that some of like to dream of your loved one but I really, really do not like it.

We were sitting next to each other in the cinema and Steve put his arm through mine and he grabbed my hand(he would not have done that in real life).I knew in the dream that something was not right and that he was actually dead.I thought I should make some phone calls and check what was happening, but at the same time I was a little relieved that he was back with me.

Then I woke up and I realised where I was and that I was living a life without Steve.God, I am so terribly sad.

 

 

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Tineke, I'm sorry you had a bad dream. If I remember correctly, your Steve passed from sudden cardiac arrest? CPR and paramedics couldn't save him, right? My husband also passed the same way. I still have the occasional bad dream about his passing and that I couldn't save him. The dreams come from our subconscious. We have to work on forgiving ourselves and not feeling guilty.

A visitation dream from your Steve will be very vivid and loving.Those will come in time.

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Hi KMB, thanks for that.Yes, Steve did die from a sudden unexpected cardiac arrest and I could not save him.I do not feel guilty about that.I knew what to do and I did it but it was not enough.

It is just that it rattles me badly to see him again in my dream where he seems to be alive but at the same time where I know that he is not.I do not get comfort from these dreams.

I do not know how you feel about your husband passing away suddenly and you could not say goodbye.They went without knowing it and we are left behind in shatters.We all want to go without knowing.I miss that I could not say goodbye,but on the other hand Steve was spared a long sick bed.He just went too early.He was only 51.

We had 22 good years together, that is what I keep reminding myself.More than what many people ever had.

 

 

 

 

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Tineke Tjepkema

I too Have dreams and KMB has suggested to keep a note book (witch I had already started). Iv had 5 dreams that were worthy of writing down. KMB has also suggested that I don't over analyze my dreams ( witch I do, too many computers in my life time).

Autocharge moving forward (new normal)

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Tineke, Even though my husband passed quickly, which is a blessing for him, it hurts greatly. No chance for last words, hugs, kisses. He knows though. He's in Heaven, watching over me, knowing my struggles and heart break. Knowing how hard I'm trying to *do* this life without him. The love is always going to be there. I'll see him again in dreams and I'll be with him in eternity when it's my turn. I feel so honored that he chose me to spend the rest of his life with. We had 25 years, which wasn't enough, but more than what some get.

Hang in there, Tineke. .We are here. Your Steve will always have your back, just feel him in your heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tineke -- I think I would love to dream of my Charles, (except the day he took his last breath from this world) but unfortunately have not yet done so.  Dreams can sometimes be mysterious, bewildering, eye-opening and a nightmarish living hell.  It has been reported that emotions felt while dreaming from people who lost loved ones are those of anger, sadness and fear.  There are actually people who like dreaming and dreams so much they never want to wake up.   I think I fit into that category; when I wake up from a nap or night's sleep, it is to a dark, unknown, confused, terrified, scary, hellish REALITY.  My 'new' reality - without my Charles.   I'll take the dream any day.

 

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There's mixed reactions to dreams, some like them, some find them disconcerting.  I think I'd take George any way I could get him.  But I understand those that say it's a rude awakening when they wake up to find them gone all over again.

Francine, it was a year or two before I dreamed of George, I don't know why, I still don't get them often.

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To all

I never remember any of my dreams much but i dreamed a strange dream last week that ive probably been over analizing, it wasnt scary it was cruel, i dreamed that we had a big fall out and had split up, we knew we both loved each other but both of us were being stubborn, and when i was at the half awake stage i thought i am going to phone him today to beg him to come back to me, then of course fully awake i knew that i could never do that, yet another day of pain, why is my dreaming mind playing cruel tricks on me?

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I've had a few dreams of my husband...In my dreams I talk to him..he listens, but never talks back to me. Most dreams I tell him about what happened..but he made it at the end of the story and didn't pass away. One dream he was lying next to me in bed and I was asking him to stay...not to leave...but it felt like a break up..he didn't answer me..he just came closer and put his head on my chest. I love to dream of Tyrone...the hard part is waking up and having to face the harsh devastating reality that he's not there and won't ever be. 

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Mesh and Ip- I am sorry for your losses. I just lost my soulmate on Sunday and my dreams of course have not started. His service was yesterday and I feel numb. I can only imagine at this moment when I do have my first dream of him what it will be like. It actually scares me.

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Solomon'sGirl

I think I talked about my dream in another post, but I'll share here. It was a little over a month after he passed when I had the dream. In real life, I had been crying to him about how I missed him and just wanted to hug him again. I wanted him to know how much I love him and to just see him. So the night before my brother was to come stay with me, I dreamt that I was in our kitchen just waiting for him to get here. I heard the door try to open, but it was locked. I thought it was my brother until I heard the door being unlocked. At that moment I thought out loud that there's only one other person that has a key.. And sure enough he came in and peaked around the corner. We immediately hugged.. I pulled back to look at him and he was crying. We just hugged tight and then I woke up. I was kind of bummed when I woke up because I wanted to dream of him longer. But I read something that said when you have a visitation dream, they'll wake you up right after so you'll remember it. It felt real to me. I believe in that. It's painful waking up and being without them in the way we'd like to be. But I find some comfort in knowing that he's still here, just in a different form.

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Christy D, so sorry for your recent loss, its a cruel blow weve all been dealt thats for sure, my loss was dec 2, 2016, im 4 months in and i have good and bad days but i'm functioning best i can, i'm looking after myself, going to work and trying to keep myself busy at wknds, taking a day at a time, just try get thru best you can in your own way x its strange what we dream, solomens girl, i hope the dreams are a sign that they are visiting us, that thought gives me comfort x

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Chrisy D-----Please do not put any thought or worry into any dreaming. We need whatever sleep we can manage. If you do have any dreams, the bad ones are just signs of our subconscious trying to cope with our loss and the chaos of our emotions. The good dreams, the visitation ones, are to help us realize our loved ones are safe and at peace, still watching over and loving us.

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