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Overwhelmed with Grief


amandarae243

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amandarae243

Our 11 year old Boston Terrier x French Bulldog, she had to euthanized on Feb 13/17 after succumbing to her Lung Cancer diagnosis on Dec 12/16. We were devastated!! She was our baby and we did everything possible for her to live out the rest of her life pain free. Very shortly after I began looking for a new dog ( I feel like I was trying to fill a void without fully grieving) and we recently picked up brother and sister puppies same breed (boston terrier x French bulldog). I am overcome with grief and have been crying uncontrollably since the new dogs arrived. I feel like I made a mistake in getting them so soon, I am unable to bond with the new dogs and I want to give them back to the breeder but I am embarrassed and ashamed that I should have had these feelings sooner and I don’t know what is best to do for everyone.

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I don't think the answer is to return the new dogs. Second thoughts are very understanding as your emotions will run all over the place for a few weeks. I believe it's best for you to redirect your grief toward the newcomers, knowing that in time, you will will love them just as much as your beloved dog that passed away. Just give it some time.......try to focus on what the new pups need and want. You're not replacing your other dog...just trying to fill the awful void left behind.

Let yourself grieve without feeling guilty . In time, you will be ok.

 

 

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I understand what cwt is saying but that being said, it's not fair to the new puppies to be in a new home and unwanted.  Perhaps returning them would be the best thing for them.  Perhaps talking with the breeder and seeing what they say would help you.  Have you tried a grief counselor?  I have always given myself a few months before getting a new pet, knowing a new one doesn't replace the old one, they're all so individual, but everyone is different and many people do go out and get a new one the next day or week.  

As you said, you were possibly trying to circumvent the grief, which you realize by now isn't possible.  

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