Members Rhonda R Posted December 3, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 3, 2019 No, it is not like Orange is the new black. Not here at least. Relationships are not allowed. That is prison sensationalized. Where I work, it is an all male facility. If there is a food allergy and that item is in the regular menu, they get a bag lunch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jttalways Posted December 3, 2019 Members Report Share Posted December 3, 2019 3 hours ago, Rhonda R said: I am also glad Randy isn't struggling anymore. It bothered him so much that he couldn't even walk to his appointments. This was a man who was counted on by prison to stop major conflicts and now his wife has to push him around in a wheel chair. I know exactly what you are talking about. That is so heartbreaking. Thinking about having to push my husband in his wheelchair breaks me every time. Every time I see it I remember pushing him in it and I would kiss the back of his head or neck and he would smile. After he passed, i called up the insurance company to return it since i thought it was a rental. They said "its yours to keep." I contemplated selling it or giving it to good will, but my son used it once after knee surgery so i decided to keep it. Its a nice wheelchair, brand new. But every time I see it, I crack. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted January 5, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2020 On 12/3/2019 at 12:55 PM, Jttalways said: Thinking about having to push my husband in his wheelchair breaks me every time. I know what you mean. This pic is from our road trip to Mount Rushmore. Just one week before she passed. I have several post about that trip. I also remember having troubles finding handicap parking spaces for our side loading van. That was a very trying time for the family. She was sitting behind the drivers set, I did all the driving and accidentally burnt her left leg with the heater vent in the van. She couldn't feel anything and it never occurred to me to check something so simple. I felt so bad. Taking care of those that can't take care of them selfs is so hard and such a great responsibility . Autocharge (moving forward "new normal") 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted January 5, 2020 Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2020 Autocharge, Good to hear from you. I hope your health issues are progressing as well as can be hoped for and that Carla is not as anxious as she was a few months ago. Hope you both had a good holiday season. Peace, Gail 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 5, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted January 5, 2020 15 hours ago, Autocharge said: I felt so bad. Taking care of those that can't take care of them selfs is so hard and such a great responsibility . I remember when my cat, King George (19 years old) was dying of cancer. I clipped a matt off of him and it cut a hole in his skin. I've never forgotten it and still feel horrible. He was the most wonderful cat, I lost him a year after George died. We do these things unintentionally but oh they're hard to forget! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted January 5, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2020 10 hours ago, Gail 8588 said: I hope your health issues are progressing as well as can be hoped for and that Carla is not as anxious as she was a few months ago. Thank you Gail My health is doing fine . I am now doing cardiac rehab three times a week ,I do twice the work out as everybody else but I am half the age of everybody else. LOL I have now added a blood pressure medication to my daily diet. It has lowered my BP a little and it makes Carla feel better. Im still waiting on finale conformation from Alaska park rangers on the position in Ketchikan Alaska . However Carla thanks for the one month stay in Hells Canyon in October is a bit too far. Hells Canyon you have to get a jet boat ride up the River to the spot, take all your food in and stay for one month. A sat-phone and radio are the only communications out. She says it's too far from Help. Will see , lots of time between now and then. Autocharge 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted January 5, 2020 Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2020 It sounds like a wonderful adventure to me, but I certainly understand Carla's concerns. I am sure you will work it out. You are an inspiration for finding a new path in life. Thanks. Gail 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted January 23, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 I'm back in the shop again experimenting with Lichtenberg process. We used to spend a lot of time out there doing ceramics and other wood working projects. We made this chair one time that sucked and was really uncomfortable. Now I have the entire shop to me self, no more making space for her projects or hobbies. I thought her presents in the house was overwhelming , but it wasn't just the house it was every where and every thing that her presents is still felt and always will be. I wish she was here to see this. Autocharge (moving forward "new normal") Video link to the pic. below. https://youtu.be/GAFlwBTCbDU 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jttalways Posted January 24, 2020 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 @Autocharge that is super cool. Thanks for sharing that. I’ve watched a video or 2 on that before. I understand what you mean by “her presence is everywhere.” After my husband passed I had to put away some of his things. His pictures are still up and his urn is on my dresser, but there were small things that were too painful to have out. Things like his prescription glasses, his medications, his baseball caps. It’s funny how some things are ok and other things are a dagger to the heart. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted January 31, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted January 31, 2020 Hi Everyone I just heard from Alaska State Parks ranger. I got the spot in Ketchikan Alaska for the summer. Looks like I got to learn how to fish again, Alaskan style . Autocharge. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 1, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted February 1, 2020 Congratulations! I hope you have a very enjoyable summer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted March 11, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2020 I Finished Cardiac Rehab!!!! Now the only thing that stands between me and Alaska is the crona19 virus. I have to catch a ferry out of Washington state . I wonder how the Corona virus is going to affect my travel plans will Washington Be in quarantine / lockdown will the ferry still operate I've got about a month to figure this out . Autocharge (moving forward "new normal") 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted March 12, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted March 12, 2020 When are you scheduled to leave? Congrats on your rehab success! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted March 12, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2020 1 hour ago, KayC said: When are you scheduled to leave? Congrats on your rehab success! I will leave the First week of April and see some sites and family members along the way to Wa. A Two week road trip just about. Autocharge 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted March 13, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted March 13, 2020 I wish you well. Not sure how things will be in a couple of weeks, they're shutting all schools down here and I guess most of us can't even attend church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted March 25, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted March 25, 2020 Hello All. Things are not good at the moment. It looks like Carla has broken up with me. Below are the text messages I received late last night. So in the midst of all this crazy, I am scared. And the only thing I can do is lean on God. He is the way, the truth, and the light. I have been living a sinful life with you and it can not continue. I am scared for my eternal soul. There is a heaven and there is a hell. When I die, I am going to one of them. He word says if I love Him, I will keep his commandments. I have not done this. I can't continue sleeping with you. I have to make things right with my maker. I have shamefully put God aside for a relationship with you. I love you, but I must love Him more. I understand you don't believe, and I am fine with that. I have let my morals fall for desires of my flesh. I will pick up my things tomorrow. I am heartbroken. But if I died today, I would go to hell. Being a good person is not enough. Biblically we are living in the end times. Everything around us is that is happening is already written. You probably think I'm crazy, but I'm ok with that. Tomorrow is not promised to any one. For those of you that have read my thread you know I don't believe . I'm posting this because Im interested in what everyone thinks and regardless I post the good and the bad. Autocharge(moving forward "new normal") 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted March 25, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted March 25, 2020 I am a Christian and know what the Bible says, I read it every day. I know it warns us not to be unequally yoked for this reason, one pulls one way, the other pulls another, that's hard for a relationship. That said, you DO have a relationship. If you can respect her enough to not consider no sex before marriage a deal-breaker, perhaps you can work things out. Unless she feels she is sinning by even having a relationship with you, hard to fight against that, nor would you want to. I don't know if you've given marriage consideration, that might solve the situation partially but there'd still be differing beliefs. Would you and her be okay with that? Have you talked about it? It sounds like she's swept her beliefs under the rug to be with you, which isn't a good idea. We have to remain true to ourselves. She's been a big part of your life and it's been good for you to have someone in your life. We can give our thoughts but only the two of you can make this decision. This would be better as an in person two way discussion...it sounds like she doesn't feel strong enough to do that and hence the texting. But you deserve better, you deserve a face-to-face. I had a fiance break up with me when his mom was dying (couldn't do relationship same time as grieving) by Fed Ex, worse yet to my OFFICE so I didn't get the benefit of having my reaction/feelings in private! I was asked to leave for the day, it was humiliating on top of everything. I don't agree with phone/text/Fed Ex as a mode of breakup EVER unless there is abuse involved! Sounds like she's fundamentalist in belief...I'm Baptist and we believe our salvation is secure...we still believe in following God's word, just don't believe He's always ready to pounce on us for every little thing. I grew up Nazarene and went there until 20 years ago, they believe more as Carla, more legalistic. I did let one relationship go when I was young, believed the same as her, for peace of mind I had to, very hard. It does NOT mean she does not love you. I'm sorry. I guess it's good to talk these things out early one. Not what you needed right now. I doubt you even saw this coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted March 30, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted March 30, 2020 On 3/25/2020 at 12:15 PM, KayC said: This would be better as an in person two way discussion...it sounds like she doesn't feel strong enough to do that and hence the texting. But you deserve better, you deserve a face-to-face. It's been couple of days now. Carla did come over to have talk. We talked about where we were in our relationship and her feelings about her religion . Also about how I Felt we were past the point of being friends and it would be too tough to pretend other wise. She later decided that she wanted to be more then friends and wanted things to go back like they were before. I accepted this and informed her I was not a "yo-yo" and she need to be sure of her decision. On 3/25/2020 at 12:15 PM, KayC said: I don't know if you've given marriage consideration She has certain responsibilities at her home that prevent her from having a 100% comment to a marriage and or traveling with me all the time. I accept this. On 3/25/2020 at 12:15 PM, KayC said: We have to remain true to ourselves. So it looks like we are back to were we were several days ago. Autocharge ps: sorry for the drama . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted March 30, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted March 30, 2020 Don't be sorry...this is some of the stuff life is made of. I hope things work out for both of you long term. I warn you though, she will continue feeling torn...either she ignores the pull one way...or the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted March 31, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted March 31, 2020 On 3/30/2020 at 10:07 AM, KayC said: she will continue feeling torn...either she ignores the pull one way...or the other. I know you're correct. but not sure what to do. I honestly fell insecure at this point. If she gets scared again I'm sure I will be the first thing to go again. Autocharge 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted March 31, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted March 31, 2020 All you can do is listen and be there for her. Religion is pretty strong. Just keep talking to her about respecting each other's diversity. I really do wish you both the best. There have been other interfaith people who have made it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted May 25, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted May 25, 2020 Hello All Four years to day I lost my Wife. Autocharge 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted May 25, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted May 25, 2020 Oh Autocharge, I'm sorry, those anv. dates are hard. Sending you comfort and cyber hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted June 16, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted June 16, 2020 Hi Everyone Just dropping in. I'v been busy Im up at snake river again , doing the river ranger thing again. below is a quick video of the "Hoback River" Stay strong, get outside your comfort zone. Autocharge (moving forward "new normal") 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 16, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted June 16, 2020 We have a Snake River in Oregon too, the border of ID and WA, running into the Columbia River. It's good to see you getting out! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted June 26, 2020 Members Report Share Posted June 26, 2020 Great video. Really enjoyed seeing that river ride. Thanks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted June 28, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2020 On 6/25/2020 at 8:39 PM, Gail 8588 said: Great video. Really enjoyed seeing that river ride. Thanks. 4 hours of river into 5 min video. it really doesn't do it justice . but Thanks 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted July 22, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2020 Hi All Last week I was in Yellowstone again, and got a video of 3 gray wolfs at 600meters on my cell phone. Verified by binoculars . This is a cell phone video so quality is not the best. Autocharge Elk.jp2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 22, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted July 22, 2020 That must have felt very special to see! Not every day one gets to see wolves in person! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted July 25, 2020 Members Report Share Posted July 25, 2020 Looks like you are having no trouble social distancing. Enjoy your time in that most remarkable place. My husband and I had a wonderful vacation at Yellowstone. It is magical. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted August 1, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 Hi All Well its Jackson Hole 2 and Autocharge 0. I have just been ordered to return to Texas ASAP by the doctors. It seams that they didn't like the CT scan of my Lungs and the low o2 in my blood. This High altitude just dose not agree with me. So I am returning to Texas this Sunday and Monday. To face an onset of testing and Dr. appointments. This new life just keeps kicking back. I'm not done though. (traveling) Autocharge ps : I'm pissed 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted August 1, 2020 Members Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 So sorry. I don't do well in high altitudes either. It is a bummer as those are some of the most beautiful locations. I am sure you will be able to find some low altitude adventures. Take care of yourself. Gail 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted August 1, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted August 1, 2020 I am so sorry. I know you've worked so hard at building your life and then to have something like that cut it short unexpectedly...I'm facing surgery on my right hand and with no one to help take care of me or my puppy, I don't think I can do it until April as by the time they'd get the preauth, referral, and schedule the appt., it's too close to winter. So will have to wait, but meanwhile in a lot of pain/numbness day & night. Let us know how it goes when you know something! Take care! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted November 22, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 Hi All Well It took the VA long enough. I had another CT scan and the Lung spots are still 4mm or less. So now I wait another 4 to 6mo for another comparison scan. So Im back to scheduling Trips ( Lapaz Mexico, Ketchcan Alaska) and such. ON a another note: Carla broke up with me again. I have learned my lesson from dating early on and from this forum community . I have moved on and started dating some one new. No going back and trying to learn/figure why she made the decision she did. For those of you that have been following this thread, here is an inside smile ( I bought a new couch.) Autocharge (moving forward "new normal") 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 22, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 I'm sorry you went through that. I went through some hard lessons early in also, I haven't dated in over ten years, no one I'd even consider. But I've learned so much in this journey about myself. I've learned my own value, built confidence in myself, realize I am okay, "just me." I don't need a person to "complete me" but neither was it my preference to be alone. It is what it is. I will always love and miss George, he was perfect for me. I have my puppy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missy1 Posted November 24, 2020 Members Report Share Posted November 24, 2020 Amazing and you are blessed to have led such a full life 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dawn Lee Posted December 6, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 6, 2020 I have been reading your thread. (I most just read and don't comment ) Sorry to hear of your breakup. Perhaps you should talk to her. Sometimes we just don't know what someone else is going through. A 3 year relationship with someone you loved is worth fighting for. Lucky to find love after an amazing marriage and loss is very special. You and Carla seem to have had a bond. I only hope to find love again. Talk to her. Surly you didn't just stop loving her just like that!! Fight for her if it's something you can work through. Just some thoughts after finishing your whole thread. Real love does not die. It withers some storms. Love has challenging times. Perhaps, communication was an issue. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 7, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted December 7, 2020 @Dawn Lee He's talked to her about it time and again, this isn't exactly abrupt as she struggled with religious differences that I was afraid would continue to haunt her...and it did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 8, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted December 8, 2020 Perhaps it was in a different thread, IDK, I know it came up more than once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted December 18, 2020 Author Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2020 On 12/6/2020 at 3:57 PM, Dawn Lee said: I have been reading your thread. (I most just read and don't comment ) Sorry to hear of your breakup. Perhaps you should talk to her. Sometimes we just don't know what someone else is going through. A 3 year relationship with someone you loved is worth fighting for. Lucky to find love after an amazing marriage and loss is very special. You and Carla seem to have had a bond. I only hope to find love again. Talk to her. Surly you didn't just stop loving her just like that!! Fight for her if it's something you can work through. Just some thoughts after finishing your whole thread. Real love does not die. It withers some storms. Love has challenging times. Perhaps, communication was an issue. Hi Dawn Lee, and all others. You were right. Carla came to me just before I was to see the other woman for a second time. I knew if I ever faced Carla I would take her back in a heart beat. so I tried blocking her and ignoring her the best I could. She managed to call me with a privet number and we talked. Later that night she literally climbed over the driveway gate I had locked and walked up my long driveway in the dark. As expected I took her back instantly. It's been an exciting couple of weeks now. In short Carla and I are getting married soon. We worked out all the problems we were facing. A little back story: Her mother is at her home and is in hospice care. Has been sense April of this year. Carla is a nurse so she would work all day and take care of her mom at night(all night). There was no way to put her in a nursing home with covid. this year. So this put a tremendous strain on Carla. To the point were she decided to "set me free" (against my wishes). Her mom is now to the point were she is 100% bedridden and incoherent now. It's just a mater of time, maybe a few days now. This has been a rough year for health care workers and Carla. A rough year for all of us. Carla will soon be taking a leave from work and start traveling with me 100% of the time. She has also talked to her pastor and got is blessing on the marriage even if I'm not a church member. On 12/7/2020 at 10:21 AM, KayC said: @Dawn Lee He's talked to her about it time and again, this isn't exactly abrupt as she struggled with religious differences that I was afraid would continue to haunt her...and it did. KayC, You were right it had come up once before. and we have worked it out , I assured her I didn't mind if she attends church whenever she wants. My wife was catholic and raised my kids in the church. I don't like drama but I sure seem to be full of it. This forum has allowed me to vent and make new friends that I will never meet. From the very beginning I stated the I hope this thread would help someone or a least get a little insight. Dawn: "I only hope to find love again". I hope you do too. Autocharge (moving forward "new normal") 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 18, 2020 Moderators Report Share Posted December 18, 2020 Oh @Autocharge I am so happy to hear this! You have a keeper! I'm glad you were able to work it out, I know she had her reservations about marrying someone "out of her faith" (as many do) but I know you would not restrict her practicing her faith in any way. I didn't realize she was dealing with caregiving, that makes even more sense now. What a year! At least SOMETHING GOOD is coming from this year! Sending you my best wishes for the both of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted December 18, 2020 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2020 Autocharge, Congratulations!!!! I am so very happy for you both. This is such a strange year, but this news that you and Carla are getting married is really a bright spot for me in this very difficult year. Strange, I've never met you, and likely never will, but I reacted with real joy at your news. Thanks for sharing with us. All my best to you both. Gail 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted April 5, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted April 5, 2021 Hi All This is a News Flash and Update post. Update: I made it to Settlers cove in Ketchikan Alaska. and will be here till October. The adventure begins. Pics to fallow. News Flash: Carla and I did not get married. In the end I was not religious enough and it would have been an "unholy marriage". We are still dating and she did not make the trip with me, but plans to come out in the future . We will see. Autocharge(moving forward "new normal") 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted April 6, 2021 Members Report Share Posted April 6, 2021 Autocharge, So good to hear from you. Settler's Cove looks beautiful. Glad you are still in some sort of relationship with Carla. Who knows where it will go. Enjoy your Alaskan adventure! Gail 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted April 6, 2021 Moderators Report Share Posted April 6, 2021 I had friends that lived up there, beautiful! I was kind of afraid she'd revisit this issue, who knows, but I wish you well going forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted May 26, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted May 26, 2021 Hi All. Well it's been five years now. i never thought about making it to the five year mark, it seams like a long time ago. I still think of her every day. I am doing things now that she with all her disabilities and Dr. appointments would not have been able to do. Am I living life and having adventures for the both us or is it just me moving forward ? I'm looking forward to Carla and her son coming out in June. I got other family members coming out in July and August also. Going to be a great summer . Autocharge(moving forward "new normal") ps pics. of Alaska coming soon. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted May 26, 2021 Members Report Share Posted May 26, 2021 Autocharge, So good to hear from you! I am just a few months into my fifth year. It is so weird, 5 years is obviously a pretty long time. But I feel my life with my sweetheart is still a reality. I know he is gone and never returning, but I still feel we are together. I have gotten to the point where I can look at old photos of us and it warms my heart rather than breaking it. I tend to think you are having adventures for the both of you. And I don't think she minds at all that Carla is coming in June. Looking forward to your photos of Settler's Cove and other adventure locations. Gail 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted May 26, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted May 26, 2021 some pics. some pics 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted May 26, 2021 Members Report Share Posted May 26, 2021 Wonderful photos! Not exactly sure what some of them are. Are the 2 photos just before the starfish slugs? A red slug and then an orange slug? Are the 2 photos of the same animal, it just changed color? Also what is the bird like fabrication. It must have a story. Amazing shots of wildlife. I have never seen the northern lights, so that's very cool too! Thanks for sharing. Gail 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Autocharge Posted May 26, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted May 26, 2021 2 photos just before the starfish slugs? I'm told they are "sea cucumber". what is the bird like fabrication. A wooden eagle in Ketchikan made by local Indians/native people. Autocharge 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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