Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

loss of my partner


teenie

Recommended Posts

  • Members

hi everyone  I've just joined, I lost my partner of 26yrs on Christmas Eve at 7pm, it was the worst night of my life he was just 52yrs of age and had a massive heartattack, have never felt pain like it in my life I know people say their heart is broke mine has been busted, I know it's only 3months but it still seems like a few days to me 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

HI teenie,  I'm so sorry.  You've come to the right place.  We're all feeling the same pain, sadness, and grief.  I lost my partner and love of my life on New Year's Eve, the same way you did.  He was 58.  I have also never experienced anything like this before.  I didn't think it was possible to feel what I have felt over the past few months.  There are no words.  It does feel like it happened both a few days ago and many years ago, all at the same time.  I often feel that it was all a dream.  Was my life with Pat real or did I imagine it all?  This forum is great because people are at different stages of their grief.  It's good to hear what others have gone through and are going through.  It's new territory for us all and it helps to share our stories, our experiences, our fears and our hopes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

teenie, I'm sorry you are part of this unwanted club. It breaks my heart even more when someone new joins. There is so much sadness in this world from losing loved ones. I'm sorry you lost your long time soulmate to cardiac arrest. I lost my husband the same way. Just so sudden and nothing we can do. No goodbyes, hug or kiss.

Please keep posting when you feel the need. We all know the pain, heartache and loneliness. Family and friends are great support, but only those that have lost a spouse truly understand.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

teenie and HH Faith

I can so relate to what you both are experiencing.  About 3 1/2 months ago, my husband also died of a massive heart and while I'm trying to deal with this new reality, my mind isn't there yet.  It just doesn't want to accept that my Charles is really gone and neither do I.    This has been the longest time we have ever been separated from each other and it's killing me.  It's almost as if I'm in this terrible nightmare and can't seem to wake up so that I can tell him about this horrible dream and how miserable I was.  There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.  Maybe our loved ones are in the "true reality" - Heaven - and we are in the dream world - and when we die, we wake up.

I know the pain you are referring to.  That pain that leaves a lump in your throat and your eyes become blurry from the tears; the pain that is so hard, you want to scream; the pain where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep quite.  The pain that makes it difficult for you to breathe; the pain you get when you realize the person that meant the world to you, is gone.

I know that pain only too well; but what I also know that the pain you've been feeling can't compare to the Joy that is coming.  I believe in scripture and God words are true, In Romans 8:18, it states, "We have sufferings now.  But the sufferings we have now are nothing compared to the great glory that will be given us.

My prayer for you is when you are tired, God give you the strength to go on; when you are discouraged, HE gives you hope, and when you are afraid, HE gives you peace.

 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thank you Francine. I am so impressed with your faith and appreciate your thoughtful and encouraging words in your posts. I'm at a point in this grief where I feel like it's getting worse, a new and different kind of pain. I guess it's probably more of the cruel reality setting in. With spring coming so are more triggers, all the great things we did together over the summer.  Even just the little things like sitting on the porch and watching the sunset. I love summer but I dread it this year. It's torture knowing he will not be here for any if it. I miss him more every day. Not feeling very strong today. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

HHFaith,

So sorry for your pain.  I know only too well how difficult the upcoming seasons will be for me especially without my Charles.  How we'd long to take off winter's coat and welcome Spring - the warm gentle breezes; the daisies and beautiful flowers become our favorite companions.  The scent Spring brings - the morning dew; freshly laundered clothes hanging out doors; the smell of freshly cut grass; children playing outdoors; picnics in the park; evening walks together are some of my things I'd think of when I thought of Spring.  I can honestly say it was our best season.  That was then.

What was once my favorite season has changed to my least favorite one.   If I had to choose a season to describe myself, it would be winter.   That cold, bitter, bleak, frozen, icy, and chilled, season - where my heart is now and I don't see the forecast changing.  Sorry for the gloom, but that's where I am.  So Sad and heatbroken.  :(

I'm sending prayers your way.  God bless and keep you, keep us all, safe.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Teenie,

I'm sorry for your loss.  You're right, time does seem to warp, it can seem like both yesterday and forever at the same time.

I hope you'll keep coming here, it really helps, there's some good people here that will hear you and understand.

Francine,

Winter seems apt for grief...I don't know about you, but I'm longing for Spring.  The calendar says it is but we had 4" rain in 24 hours so it sure doesn't feel like it...neither outside, nor within our hearts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
4 hours ago, KayC said:

I don't know about you, but I'm longing for Spring.

 

I'm truly happy for you and everyone else who is looking forward to Spring - wish I could be as enthusiastic about it, but I just can't.  It reminds me of cherry blossoms, nature's beauty and celebrating new beginnings.  Nothing for me to celebrate without my Charles. No more beauty in my life.  Nothing has any meaning anymore - nothing matters.  

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Francine, Sometimes I wonder if we are soul sisters? Your postings usually reflect my thoughts and feelings. (HUGS)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

KMB

We are - soul sisters in grief :D if that's such a thing.  What I do know is we are strong women who loved and lost strong men.  We loved them with our entire being.   We will get through this; while we may have encountered many defeats, we are not defeated.  The pain and struggles we're experiencing today will be our strength for tomorrow.  We all have had our bad days, and when I have them, your post have always lifted me back up - I really appreciate that and you.   Stay Strong and God Bless

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

To me, Spring means no more snow to shovel, no more canceled plans because of snow, no more dangerous roads.  I'm about sick of the rain too but at least I don't have to shovel it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Hello,

It's 4 months on the 29th March since I lost my loving wife Balbir, miss her terribly my house has been empty with no laughter or happiness since.

Coping seems to get harder as times goes on, my heart hurts deeply inside.

Everyday is a lonely day for me just trying to cope. 

Mornings, evenings I ache inside and hear my heart beats thudding away as I think of her.

I will join you soon my love, seems thats the only way I will cope as I'm leading a lonely cruel life without your presence.

Ravinder.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Ravinder,  Your pain and loneliness makes me tear up for you. With all the crying spells I have, it's a wonder I have any tears left. Coping does get harder as time goes on. In the beginning, we are trying our best to focus with arrangements, financial and legal things. When all the priority things settle down, the pain has more time to come to the front of our beings.The love between you and your Balibir will always shine brightly. Love never dies and your memories will never fade.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

It does seem it gets harder before better because the shock wears off and reality sets in, leaving us to feel the raw pain of grief.  I learned to embrace my grief, feel the pain, there is no way to circumvent it, but to go straight through it, doing our grief work, and thus through the process, heal. (The work of a grief counselor, journaling, art therapy, writing and reading posts, reading articles, memorializing, crying, long walks)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.