Delayed / Unresolved Grief?

[NickJames88]

Hello, I am a 28 year old male and in July 2012, I lost my mother quite suddenly at the age of 41. It started when she was admitted to hospital for tests due to an issue with her stomach, however, she never made it back out of hospital. Before she passed, she was placed on what the NHS at the time called 'Liverpool Care Pathway' which means they put the person in a medically induced coma and withdraw their food and water. They did this without the families consent and my belief is this is the reason my mother was taken away from me.

4 and a half years have passed and i feel as though her death is still affecting me. At the time, i don't think i dealt with the grief as i should have. The only time i cried was at her funeral, instead of coping with the loss, i quit my job and went travelling in Australia. Since her death, i still don't feel like i have grieved as i should have and this is making me feel very guilty for not feeling the way i should be.

This is now starting to affect my life and the way i am feeling. I feel angry a lot of the time and tend to get angry over the slightest things (never violent, just moody), I don't feel interested in socialising a lot of the time either and my interest in sex at the moment is very low. I don't know what i can do to help how i feel and act, i feel alone even though i have close family and a partner and i just seem to either be worried, angry or fed up most of the time.

Is there any books i could read that would help with dealing with delayed / unresolved grief? or could anyone point me in the direction of someone to speak to about this? I have tried to get an appointment with my GP to discuss these issues, but i think i would have more chance of plaiting fog.

Thank you for any advice.

 

[ModKonnie]

Hi NickJames88,

I am very sorry about the loss of your mother and how you feel like you have not moved forward in the past few years. Here are a few books that have been recommended:

https://www.fairview.org/fv/groups/internet/documents/web_content/s_021615.pdf

http://modernloss.com/6-grief-books-actually-help/

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ambiguous-loss-pauline-boss/1112326406

I hope one of these may help you. In the meantime, can you find a support group for grief and loss? What about counseling? 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

[Zara19]

,,

[reader]

Dear NickJames,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your mom. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. We all process grief so differently. I would suggest the following websites, I found them very helpful in understanding my feelings during this difficult time in my life.

What's Your Grief

The Grief Healing Blog

The Grief Recovery Method

GriefShare.Org

Take care  and be kind and gentle with yourself.

 

[NickJames88]

Hi All,

Thank you very much for your kind words. I will look into the book recommendations and links to support councelling.

I hope you all have a good weekend.

Nick

[Jackiee]

Hi Nick,

I'm only 20 years old but I lost my mom about a year and a half ago. I completely understand what you mean by delayed grief. I know its still been a short amount of time for me but right after she passed I immediatly went back to school and continued my regular life. I've been living with a roommate since and I never have privacy to just cry. Similar to you I grieve by traveling it seems to distract me the most, but I'm constantly wondering if I continued life to fast and how I can grieve now. Her birthday is coming up and I know it will be a tough one.