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frogirl1993

How do you deal with the dreams?

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I imagine I'm not alone in having dreams about a dead loved one. My dad died over 5 years ago and I still have dreams about him. I thought with time they'd go away and they have become less frequent. Every now and then I still get one about him and sometimes they can be really upsetting. How do you deal with dreaming of lost loved ones?

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reader   

Dear frogirl1993,

I think its only natural and normal to dream about our loved ones that have passed. Because they will always be in our hearts and minds. I know the dreams can sometimes be upsetting but please know its your minds way of working things out. If you feel like it, maybe try journaling or talking with a trusted friend or family member about it. Hopefully the more you talk about it, it will allow your mind to rest and you can dream about other things.

 

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my father passed away 5 years ago and I also still dream about him. although sometimes they are upsetting ,I also enjoy them as it  makes me feel like hes still here with me and in my dreams I am still able to feel to talk to him and hold him. I believe it is probably a coping mechanism with unresolved grief.  if your loss was sudden or unexpected, as mine was, it could be your way of saying your final goodbyes or saying things you never said.

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My dad's death was sudden. I was also dealing with a complicated pregnancy when he passed and with that and the drama his family started (they always start things when someone dies and being they never accepted my mom and me because  it was his second marriage they were really rude) I don't think I really grieved right. I can handle most of the dreams he's in but when I dream of losing him again it sticks with me for awhile. 

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The Girl   

My mom passed unexpectedly almost 2 months ago and I have regular dreams where she's dying and it's the last time I'll see her.  It's upsetting even to write about, but you know what...it's always nice to see her in the dreams.  Even when I first wake up from them, it's kind of nice to have seen her.  It leads into a hard day, but I try to focus on the part where I finally felt normal again.  

If you haven't really deeply grieved, that may help.  It may bring upon more dreams for awhile, but it may also help you adjust to those feelings and the reality of it.  I've been struggling with that even though it's all still so new to me...letting myself really feel it while I'm not ready to accept it.  But I feel in the long run it'll be beneficial. 

I'm sorry to hear family made it difficult for you.  When all those raw emotions are sitting right on the surface, it's like any drama can steal the spotlight.  There was (unrelated but distracting) family drama going on during my mom's passing that made me push some people away.  Sometimes it's just not the time for it.  And it's totally okay to put yourself first in those situations and agree that it's not anything you need to deal with.  

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