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On march 6th at about 8:30am my husband was hit by a semi truck and died instantly. I'm struggling to find ways to get through the day. Every minute I think about him and the day he died and how he died my soul hurts. He was my everything,my life,my world,and I'm really struggling with this. I need someone who has been through this to guide me and tell me that this some how gets better. 

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GinaN   

I'm so sorry for your loss. Beautiful family and beautiful pictures. You may not believe it now, and you may not believe it in a month or even two or three, but little by little it gets a little bit better, then it gets worse, then better. It's sort of a two steps forward, one step back. I lost my husband suddenly 6 months ago. The first few weeks were almost non-stop crying and being in a daze - pure agony. By month two I was just focusing on one day at at time because all I wanted to do was die, but I have two kids. After about four months I was better but my no means anywhere near okay. I cried a a lot and still do, every day. Sometimes the reality just sneaks up on me, especially at night when I wake up alone and I break down. To be honest the first four months I didn't think it would ever get better. When others told me things will get better with time, I thought no way.. maybe for them, but it won't for me. In a way I also thought getting better meant letting him go. It's messed up. I wish I could comfort you. God knows the beginning is pure hell and makes you question everything you know and believe. It's a tough road ahead. And sometimes you'll just want to disappear, and other times you'll start seeing glimpses of a future life where you won't be in constant agony. But from where you are it does get better. 

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Herc   

MrsTurner41,

I am so sorry for you and your children's loss.  He passed far too young, and the sudden nature of it must have you in deep shock.  I can't tell you it gets better, but it does change.  The dazed confusion you are probably feeling right now will slowly wear off.

I still think about my wife every minute of the day.  She passed at Christmas, so I am about three months into my grief right now.  I don't know if I will ever stop thinking of her as often as I do, but I can say the way I was thinking has changed.  There is still deep pain, but there are also good memories now, those do eventually come back.

I don't know if anyone can "guide" any of us through this.  Grief is unique to each of us, and what holds true for one person may not hold true for others.  There are many kind, considerate, and caring people here that will understand much of what you are going through and will share their experiences with you though.  At least for me that has helped tremendously.

For right now, please try to take care of yourself.  Just breathe and take one moment at a time.  Drink plenty of water, eat when you can, sleep if you can, and try to get at least a little exercise.  All of that will help with the shock, and put you in the best physical and mental state possible to deal with your grief.  Please come here and post if you want.  I am once again so sorry you had reason to find this site, but I hope it gives you some peace and comfort,

Herc

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I lost mine the same way. It was instant, too. We weren't married yet, but we lived as if we were. All of our friends and colleagues saw us that way. He was and still is a huge part of my life. Yesterday was two months. It doesn't exactly get easier, I've just learned how to manage my grieving so that I can get things done. I don't know if how I'm handling it is healthy though. I hope I don't sound cold. Some days I'm just annoyed, frustrated easily. I think today is one of those days. I hate that this is life now. I spent the first week or so in shock. I could tell people what happened as if I was telling some crazy story. I separated myself from it all. I still do it to a point. Otherwise, I fall apart. 

Grieving is different for everyone. I seem to go through every emotion most days. Sometimes I'm sad and cry most of the day, usually on a weekend when my daughter is with my mother. That's when I tend to fall apart. But some days I laugh and have a good day overall. I still miss him terribly and want to wish time away or to reverse, but I'll have a somewhat normal day. 

My words feel short and emotionless today. I'm sorry for that. I'm here for you. We're all here for you. Post as often as you want or need. This forum has gotten me through my toughest days. 

By the way, you have a beautiful family. 

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KayC   

What a handsome couple and beautiful family!  I'm struck by how happy you all look.  It's so hard, how in the blink of an eye, everything can change when we least expect it.

Like Herc said, not sure anyone can give you a manual, everyone's grief journey is as unique as they are.  But we do share here, we learn, little by little, what helps, what doesn't, it's different for all of us.

Keep coming here, I think the grief forums help more than anything.  If you can get a good grief counselor, that can be a big help too, but not just any counselor, one specially trained in grief.  I'm sorry for your loss, sorry for your reason for being here.  But this is a lifeline for us, a real help.

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Francine   
10 hours ago, Mrsturner41 said:

On march 6th at about 8:30am my husband was hit by a semi truck and died instantly. I'm struggling to find ways to get through the day. Every minute I think about him and the day he died and how he died my soul hurts. He was my everything,my life,my world,and I'm really struggling with this. I need someone who has been through this to guide me and tell me that this some how gets better. 

Oh my God, I am so sorry for your loss.  Your pictures are so beautiful and you look so happy and so much in love in them.  It must be devastating.  I lost the love of my life a little over three months ago and I still feel the pain as if it was just yesterday.  Like you, my Charles was my heart, my world, my everything; but I am grateful that when he left his world, he knew how much I loved him, and I knew he love me.   Knowing that you are loved by someone is the best feeling one could ever have.

Don't be surprise if you experience that unbearable pain within my soul; the pain that rips your insides out; the pain that makes that hole in your chest (where your heart used to be) larger; the pain that cripples your entire body; the pain that aches your heart so much, you can't breath; you can't say a word, you can't make a move.  The pain your mind is constantly fixed on.  The pain that makes the burning heavy tears stream down your checks - I know that pain - I've experienced it and still do.  But what I do know is that all the pain we are feeling now, can't compare to the Joy that's coming.   Know that because your husband lived, your life and that of your children are better, richer and fuller as a result of it.  Hold on to the memories you made and shared together.   I always like to think of memories as the timeless treasurers of our heart because we didn't realize we were making them, all we knew we were just having fun.  I wish I could say it gets better, but I can't;  it gets different because you'll be different.   You'll learn to live with it; deal with whatever comes your way; cope with this loss, but you will never be the same; nor should you be, nor would you want to be. Strength doesn't come from what you can do; it comes from overcoming the things you think you can't do. 

God always has something for you, a key for every problem, a light for every shadow, a relief for every sorrow, and plan for every tomorrow.  HE loves you and will give you strength.  God's word is true. Isaiah 41:10 states, "Do not fear for I am with you; Do not be dismayed for I am your God, I will strength you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous hand".
 
My prayer is for God to help you today, not only today, but through this horrific ordeal.  I ask HIM to give you strength when you are weak; lend you a shoulder when you need to cry; and help you when you fall.  I hope you continue to post here.  There are some amazing people on this forum who are not afraid to share the stories and give you comfort, encouragement and support to help you through this difficult time.
 
 

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KMB   

Mrsturner41---- I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, your children's father. Very loving, beautiful, happy photos. Your loss is so devastating. It is a tragic happening that is incomprehensible. Your family is in shock, which will give way to denial. Actually, we can experience many emotions all at once. A chaotic cycle that never seems to end. But, eventually, with the support of family, friends, grief counseling, you do survive. We are given no choice .I'm not going to repeat what the others have posted. My heart and prayers are with you and yours. We are on the same journey of grieving, but our paths are individual. We take it day by day. This forum has become a life line for many. We listen, we share, we give comfort. Prayers and hugs to you and your family.

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