Work vs home

[Adam in PA]

It's approaching 4 months since I lost my partner of 12 years.

When I'm at work, my mind is more focused on her death. I feel more depressed and some levels of anxiety.

At home, I'm still depressed. But I'm more at peace and not quite as preoccupied with her passing.

I know everybody is different. But you would think work would be a good temporary distraction. For me, it's the opposite.

[fzald]

My girlfriend worked at the same office as me. We had side by side desks.

I find I am a little calmer at work. I think maybe it is because I still feel a connection to her there. I took over some of her work duties, the rest have been distributed. But the real reason I think I may feel a little better at work is there are people there. People who knew her and liked her. People who were very much there for me when she passed. People who still are trying hard to make my life as good as it can be, even though they know they can't fix it for me.

at home I am alone. I sit there in the spot she sat in when she came over and just hurt. I think of the fun projects we planned to do together. I think of the times she just came over to cuddle. And yes, our intimate times too...

I hate being at home. 

It might be different because I worked with her. But it's not weird. Everyone grieved differently. 

[Francine]

Adam,

It's been three months since I lost the love of my life  of nearly 45 years and I'm retired. One of the reasons I retired was so that we can spend more time together.   Because I no longer work, I try to fill my days with other ways to occupy myself.  For instance, I've joined an water aerobics class, a stepping class, and am in my church's choir.  That takes my mind off my Charles somewhat, in a good way (I think).  Even when I'm on this website, I've concentrate on answering post and my mind is not so much on him.   For me, it's when I don't occupy my mind and at night when everything is quiet and the silence reminds me that I'm not sleeping next to him.