Members lilzig1121 Posted March 14, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 Two months ago I lost the love of my life. It's still hard to write or say this sentence out loud. I am 25 years old and bravely moved away from everything I knew at age 23. I quickly made friends in my new home and met a southern gentleman who swept me off my feet. Although we both had some maturing to do, we stayed in contact always. In April of 2016 we started talking more frequently and by July we were inseparable. We started dating August 14th. We fell in love so hard, so fast and I couldn't imagine ever having a man make me feel the way he did. On our five month anniversary he unexpectedly passed away. I still have no known reason of why God took the love of my life away from me so young. We both knew we were meant to be together. The last words he said to his friend before he passed were "I'm gonna marry her." Although we weren't officially together very long the pain of this loss haunts me every day. With no family down here I'm struggling to find my feet again. This new city seems so unfamiliar. He was my everything. My home. My comfort zone. The rest of my life was to be spent by his side. Everyone we met commented on how in love we looked and could see in his eyes how much he loved me. It seems since the time has passed that his family who said I would always be included, has since forgotten about me. I feel lost and unsure of where my life goes from here. This is a wound that although everyone says will heal, I am very doubtful will. I have found very few resources for someone who didn't date their partner very long and just wanted to let others know my story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nads Posted March 14, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 Lilzig1121, I'm so sorry for your loss. You have found a forum where everyone here knows what you are going through and are here for you. Your love was true and intense. The length of time you loved him has nothing to do with how much you loved him. I believe our love isn't equated with the length of time we loved them but just how true and passionately we loved. I'm sure he loved you just as much as you did him. I'm sorry you don't have a lot of support where you are right now but know that you can always come here. This forum has become a lifeline to many of us here. There are some here who have lost their loved ones who are in your age group. You may find more comfort in them but we are all in this together. It's now going on five months since I lost my husband. It's still a struggle but somehow I manage to make it through each day. That's all you can do for now...take it one moment at a time. It's unfortunate that his family doesn't include you as before but it happens. I was married and now I can see his family slowly drifting away from me. At the beginning we were all there for one another but I guess since our one connection is gone it is hard to maintain that relationship. I have started accepting this along with many other changes that are happening. You guys were such a beautiful couple and I can see how much love there was. You will always have that. My prayers are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lilzig1121 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 Thank you so much @Nads. Your words and kindness are sincerely appreciated. I've been saying for a while that my connection to his family was him and now that is no longer. Moving forward I am going to pick and choose which family members I stay in contact with. He was not very close to his family to begin with, which makes it harder to see family members who he was not close to almost making certain I feel left out. I am not sure how long this will last, but grief truly does bring out the bitterness in certain people. It is extremely difficult for me and to feel I do not have the support of his family just intensifies this feeling more. I have plenty of support in my friends and our friends, but nothing can replace family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted March 14, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 lilzig, It really isn't about how long you were together, it's the depth of your love and quality of relationship that determines your grief. He was everything to you so it's understandable that it's very hard for you. I'm sorry his family isn't including you, sometimes they don't make sense. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you had family around you...did they ever get to meet him? If not, you can help them known him through talking about him to them. I hope you'll continue to come here and post, there are a lot of young people with loss unfortunately, but you have plenty of company here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lilzig1121 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 Just now, KayC said: lilzig, It really isn't about how long you were together, it's the depth of your love and quality of relationship that determines your grief. He was everything to you so it's understandable that it's very hard for you. I'm sorry his family isn't including you, sometimes they don't make sense. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you had family around you...did they ever get to meet him? If not, you can help them known him through talking about him to them. I hope you'll continue to come here and post, there are a lot of young people with loss unfortunately, but you have plenty of company here. My family got to meet him over Christmas. I am so thankful that they got to see how much we loved each other. They met him 3 weeks before he passed away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Francine Posted March 14, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 14, 2017 lilzig 1121, I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you must be experiencing. I too lost the love of my life of nearly 45 years and I still feel excruciating pain. Like you, my Charles was my everything, my entire world and I like to think that he has not really left me, even though it may seem so, he's just gone to his heavenly home and I feel he is closer to me than I know. What a lovely picture of you both and It is so apparent from your picture and your post that you both loved one another. In your small amount of time you shared together, you loved a lifetime. That's what you hold on to; to the love you shared, not the lost. Hold on to the memories the both of you made and as you stated (having a man make me feel the way he did) hold on to that. No one and nothing can ever take that way from you. Know that because he lived and loved you, your life is fuller, brighter and better. We don't know why God takes away good men and leaves the 'not so good' ones. If God can take away someone or something you never expected losing, HE can replace them with something you've never imagined having. I know it's hard to understand, but HE is not punishing you, HE is preparing you for something better. I'm sorry his family was not there for you. Sometimes blood isn't thicker than water, and family will cross you quicker than strangers. It is during the worst storm of your life that you will get to see the true colors of the people who say they are for you. I hope you find people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what. I felt the same as you, that my wounds, my pain, my suffering would never heal. Sometimes God wants us to hurt in order to grow, wants us to lose in order to gain and learn lessons best through pain. Time will go on, seasons will change, people will come and go and your life will go on, just different. I'm sorry you're on this website and hope you continue to post here. Know that there are some amazing people who will not only share their stories, but offer their support, comfort and encouragement. We are all on this journey and are here to uplift one another in any way we can. Ihope God gives you the love, peace and strength you need at this most difficult time in your life. He will, just open your heart and let him in. God Bless you, bless us all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted March 15, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 15, 2017 lilzig1121-----Such a beautiful photo. The love radiates from you and your beloveds eyes and smiles. I am so sorry for your loss. I'm not going to repeat what everyone has all said. But know, my heartfelt feelings are with you. Intense love equals intense grieving. This forum is filled compassionate souls willing to listen, hear your pain and do their best in consoling you amidst their own pain. Prayers and HUGS---you are among friends here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted March 16, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted March 16, 2017 lilzig, I'm glad your family got to meet him. It gave them a glimpse into the man you love and a memory they can carry with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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