Mrsviden

Things people say...

33 posts in this topic

20 hours ago, KMB said:

 

Maybe I will end up the proverbial old woman living in a house filled with pets. At least animals are loyal, always comforting and great listeners.

That couldn't be any more spot on. My husband and I have a dog together and just seeing her being even more loving after my husband (her daddy) passed makes me really see just how loyal, comforting they really are. She's getting older and that makes me scared to lose her too. In a way that's another connection to my husband. She's in perfect health but still she won't live forever. 

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I'm sorry for all of your losses. 

As I've said (or thought) many times:  there are a million things one can say to someone grieving...and most of them are ill advised.  That doesn't stop people from doing it though, and mostly out of ignorance.  So when someone says something idiotic or even hurtful to you, unless you think they were being hurtful on purpose (unlikely for most), try to keep in mind their intent vs the stupidity that came out of their mouths.

I think this says it better than I can here.  I've been tempted to print this and hand it to people if they said something stupid. :)

http://griefhelp.webs.com/know-someone-grieving

 

 

 

 

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Thank you, widower2, I'm keeping that one.

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widower2---Thank you for the link. If I knew that it wouldn't cost me an arm or a leg or two, I would have this printed in the local newspaper with a heading of *to all our former friends and neighbors*.

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On 3/15/2017 at 3:55 PM, KMB said:

Mrsviden---Thank you. KayC----Thank you. This is so darn tough. I've been on a rant today. The one friend who has stuck by me called earlier and let me rant. I've never used the *F* word so much in my life as I have today. My friend told me that people are just self-centered in this world. Until they have a loss, then all of a sudden, they want their sympathy. If I have to let go of people in my life because of their insensitivity, then I just do.

Maybe I will end up the proverbial old woman living in a house filled with pets. At least animals are loyal, always comforting and great listeners.

KMB,

 I've use the 'F' word, when things and/or people piss me off.  It's not something I say normally or on a regular basis, but I have used it. Can't say it made me feel better or not. Now that my Charles is gone, I'm not afraid of letting people go who says insensitive things; I might even say something that is more "insensitive" back to them. The way I feel now, good riddance to bad rubble. 

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Someone today told me "Be glad you have the gift of still being alive to experience the world your girl won't get to."

I don't know how that's supposed to make me feel any better???

I want and always wanted nothing more than to SHARE the world with her. 

The "experiencing the world" thing is of absolutely no appeal to me right now. I honestly couldn't care less. Without her, what's the point of anything? Am I actually supposed to, right now, start living it up and enjoying every part of the world that she doesn't get to? I'm not a selfish person by nature and I want to SHARE the world and its experiences, and she is the one I wanted most to share it with. I won't be able to find happiness in selfishly experiencing everything she can't...

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Francine,

I have to smile.  My pastor has a saying, "It's okay to not be okay".  We don't have to be perfect.  It's important to allow each other authenticity, and in so doing, realize it's okay to not be okay, to take off the mask, to be ourselves.  

I love that you are strong enough to let bad rubble go.  I developed some real moxie when George died.  I learned to stand up for myself, after all, no one else was going to do it for me!  He'd be proud of me.  I've learned to be blunt when necessary.  I can't worry about other people's feelings when they're bludgeoning me!

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4 hours ago, KayC said:

My pastor has a saying, "It's okay to not be okay".  We don't have to be perfect.  It's important to allow each other authenticity, and in so doing, realize it's okay to not be okay, to take off the mask, to be ourselves.  

Your post is spot onI appreciate the words of your pastor; God knows I am not perfect; I don't think anyone is - anyone accept God.  My mom taught me a long time ago not to change so people will like you, be yourself and the right people will love the real you.  Thanks Again KayC

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