Members SJhhh Posted March 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 3, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zara19 Posted March 4, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 4, 2017 Dear Shirley Jane It's so sad to read of your very recent and heart-breaking loss. You must be emotionally, psychologically and physically drained. Everything must be so much harder having to take over responsibilities when you must just be wanting to collapse in a heap in pain. All you can do is just get through the days as best you can, obviously easier said than done. I know the physical symptoms you describe, the palpitations are frightening. If anyone offers help please let them, things are so difficult to manage on your own. My loss is not a sibling and I am sure someone with more experience will answer your post. Take care of yourself and try not to focus too much on the future. Kindest regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted March 5, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2017 Dear Shirley Jane, My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved sister. I'm so sorry for the pain and sorrow. Its a huge loss and everything you are feeling is natural and normal. It is overwhelming. Try to be kind and gentle with yourself during this very difficult time. If hope friends and other family members will step in and try to assist you making the funeral arrangements for your sister. Try to take it moment by moment. Please know we are here to support you. Thinking of you. Sending you love and hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members momzz Posted March 6, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 6, 2017 My heart goes out to you. Lost my brother January 23, 2017 suddenly of a brain mass. He was 70 and I am 72. I cannot stop crying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kcjohnson138 Posted March 7, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 7, 2017 My heart goes out to you! It stinks that siblings get pushed aside where grief is concerned. My little sister died, COD unknown awaiting autopsy report, January 10. She 33 me, 38. I too had to jump in and plan, arrange, put my foot down, and be "the strong one". They say time helps, it will be 8 weeks in a few hours, and I find that to be crap! I'm not in total shock anymore and I can get through the day pushing my emotions aside, until I get an unexpected question, "how many sisters do you have?" At this point saying the word sister around me has anyone I know in a panicked frenzy for fear I will cry, or shut down. When I say her name, even my children get uneasy cause they fear I will cry. Then a lot of people ask how my brother in law is holding up, or how our mother is doing, or how her children are? No one except her husband, who knows just how close we truly are, asks how I'm doing. I am a person who does not ask a question I don't want an answer to, but it hurts all the same. That phone call plays over and over in my head, I hardly sleep, if I eat, it's junk. I quit running, which has been my escape in the past, and I finally went yesterday and I cried about 2.5 out of the 3 miles I ran. I forget she won't answer my texts and I text anyway. It is so hard, and just when I go a couple days not sobbing, I sit down alone, and think, then I cry, then I go 3-4 days not sleeping, yet still go to work and act like I'm ok. Everything seems so stupid, all the worlds pettiness, and I have no patients for it. One thing that does help, a little, is people who really know what I'm going through. As much as I hate that anyone out there has been in my shoes, or at least a similar pair, it does help to know that I'm not going crazy, I'm not the only one who feels this way. It's hard, and I'm past the shock point, not disbelief, but numbing shock, and I am the oldest sister/protector, but we were very close, we were partners in crime. I taught her how to catch a glance from me when she was 2years old and throw a tantrum to run our mothers boyfriends off. Older or younger, when you are that close, it doesn't matter. It's brutal. I have found one thing that has helped me. My sister was creamated, and we have the bulk of her remains in a spreading urn, but I have some of her. I have put a bag of her ashes in a teddybear that I named TeeToe, my nickname for her, and got a necklace with some of her remains that I always have near my heart. When I am in public and I feel that lump in my throat, I just hold the necklace, when I'm alone, I just let myself cry, and I hold the bear. I sleep with her every night. We shared a bed as small children, I used to tell her scary things so she would cuddle with me, and I would protect her... find something you can hold on to, keep it close to your heart, and grieve, but live life. And just know, now you are living for the both of you. Not the expectations of others, but life is short, you share more than parents, you share memories, love no one could ever understand, a special bond, and a lot of DNA. And cry, cry a lot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SJhhh Posted March 12, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2017 On 2017-3-3 at 11:43 PM, Shirley-Jane said: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members reader Posted March 12, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2017 Dear Shirley Jane, Thank you for coming back and updating us. I know this is a very stressful time. And its always hard on families. I know in your heart you are trying to honor your sister by asking that your aunt not attend the funeral. But also hurt at finding out what your sister said behind your back. Emotions are running high during this difficult time. I hope you will take a step back and still attend your sister's service. If you continue to feel like hurting yourself, please get help. There are so many community resources and even at the local church. Death is very traumatic. And I know its hard on families because there are so many raw emotions. Please try to forgive people for what they are saying and thinking because I don't think anyone can be in their right mind during this very tough time. Please know people care and you are not alone. I know its not easy. We are all here to support you in anyway we can. Take care of yourself. Thinking of you. Sending you love and hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Everly Posted March 12, 2017 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2017 I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. I know that I do not mean the same to my sister as she means to me ... but I respect you for what you are doing...for what you have done. If anything happened to my sister I would die... but if anything happened me, I'm sure she would not care. Your sister has one wake and one funeral... that's it, and you're putting it on.. that's admirable. I'm sorry about your parents, that they can't be there for you. Be strong, be the adult, take the higher roads... it's what mature and healthy people do. You are doing the right thing.. give her an honorable funeral... love her regardless if she loved you <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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