I lost my twin, my soul, my best friend, my mom!

[Tundra Tabby]

May 18th 2016  my stepdad and brother said their good byes and told her it was ok to go.  I told her how much I loved her and how proud I was to be her daughter.  And then at 0547 as held my mom and told her I did not want her to go but if she had to I would not be angry with her but know how much I loved her. And she could now go. And at that moment 0548 my moms heart stopped beating.  My world collasped that day. It felt as though I died with her. You see we were always so close even though I moved away we visited often and for 13 years we talked everyday at least 5 times a day. Even if it was to say I love to infinty Xs infinity. 

We never really had it an easy life my real dad was very abusive and she did everything she could to protect us. She was my hero and she taught us to live and love no matter what. She taught forgiveness and morals. And even sacrafice. 

One day she met this man who would become my stepdad whom I gave one hell of a time because not just anyone would do for my mom! But, he proved that he was the most amazing and wonderful husband and dad anyone could ever ask for! I am very proud to call him dad.  He was there with my mom through all of her illnesses and never once complained.  And you see my parents had that special love that you can only dream of. Of all the years they were together they never faught! They truley loved each other! Their relationship was one filled with laughter and love! So you can see I am now very protective of him.  

A short 4 months after my mom passed away his ex wife whom my mom knew (she didn't like to much because she cheated on him and wasn't so nice to this wonderful man) found out he was widowed and now she is back in his life.  He told me he was talking to someone who was helping him with his grief but I didn't have the heart to want to know because I felt like throughing a tempertamtram like a child it had only been 4 months.  I tried to be ok with it then I found out who it was, then I noticed weird things like she dyed her hair and cut it just like my moms. And now they are dating and I really lost it on Thanksgiving our first holiday without her this woman posted a pictures in my moms kitchen.  Why would she do this to me and my brother we are still grieving and then the day after my moms birthday and on her 9 month anniversary of her death she post on facebook that she is in a relationship. Am I wrong for feeling like I want to say something to her but I don't want to hurt my dad. Tonight she posted pics of flowers from my dad and one of her friends says "I always thought you two should be together!"   I just feel like this is so disrepectful to my moms memory and to my brother and his children.  What should I do?

I know my dad misses my mom because he tells me all the time. But how do I say your new girlfriend is being disrespectful and I have no desire to ever meet her now unless she stops this. Gees at least give us a year to mourn our mothers death. 

[reader]

Dear Tundra Tabby,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved and cherished mom. I'm so sorry for the pain and sorrow. I know it hurts badly. And I'm sorry to hear your stepdad's new relationship is causing you pain. Its hard to understand. We all grieve so differently. And take so many different actions when coping. I'm afraid if you tell your stepdad your true feelings he will feel even more hurt. If it were me, I would try to step back and give myself some distance. I hope you will continue to surround yourself with loving friends and family. And maybe consider talking to a grief counselor or joining a support group. I know this situation is not easy for you. Thinking of you.