Members socal2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Members Report Share Posted March 16, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss. You have been through so much and have had so much responsiblity placed on you. A year is such a short time for all that you've experienced. It's beyond traumatic to lose your Dad the way it happened so don't expect yourself to adjust already. I want signs too and I think they will come at some point. I have heard they come when the person least expects it and is emotionally ready for them. They come when things calm down and when the healing is taking place. That is what I've heard from people who have experienced it. I hope you get signs very soon so you can have some peace of mind. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members socal2010 Posted March 16, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted March 16, 2010 I do too. I hope you get a sign that your Dad is happy where he is. My life is very silent without my Mom, so it's almost like the silence I experience now is so ovewhelming that sometimes I could scream! What you posted about your Dad sounds somewhat similar to mine. My Dad was also very proud and complicated. He died of a heart attack years ago. He probably could have been helped by therapy too but men of that generation didn't go to therapy. It's a shame because they end up holding everything inside and trying to be so strong. My Dad only focused on making enough money to support his family. He didn't think about his "feelings" or anything like that. He didn't take care of himself. He was a great provider, but that affects their health and well-being, and they are too stubborn to change it. The one thing that comes through very clear is that you were and are a GREAT daughter. Your Dad knew that. He knew you loved him. You would have done anything for him and he knew that.How is your Mom and sister handling everything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members socal2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2010 I don't have family who understand but I have a few friends who do, one of whom I met on this board and email every day. My family had very different experiences so the type of grief we have seems to be different. I know what you mean about being grateful for your Mom. My Mom was always there for me after my Dad died, so I always had her strength to rely on. She was really holding me up during that time. His death was completely unexpected, he was never sick a day in his life. So all the sudden it was like a bomb exploding. I remember when my other sister called to tell me, I literally fell over on the table because I couldn't breathe. It was like being punched in the stomach. Just complete and utter shock. My Mom helped me make it through. I also had a sister who basically dropped out of the family after my Dad died. It took years but slowly she started "allowing" people back into her life. The problem is that I have so much resentment towards her for acting that way, now I don't necessarily want her back in my life. Family is so complicated! I'm sure your sister will come around. I found that guilt can manifest itself in many ways, one way makes people isolate themselves. Maybe your sister is carrying some guilt that she can't express or isn't even aware of.Dealing with all of this is so hard. The only thing we can all do is take one day at a time and have faith that things will get better. I can honestly say that it does get a tiny bit easier to handle over time, it's not as raw. Still it's obviously very hard to accept and nothing can change that unless our loved ones could magically come back to us. I think that's why we need and pray for signs so much.Have you thought about grief counseling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members socal2010 Posted March 17, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted March 17, 2010 No, she died from cancer 8 months ago. This forum is for all parent deaths but I think there is a suicide survivors forum too. I'm not sure if there's one specifically for people who lost parents. I tried grief counseling after my Mom passed away too. I ended up quitting but I'm thinking about trying something again. That's great you and your Mom are going together! I hope your sister is able to join you both at some point. It's great too that you have your boyfriend. Are you still taking care of the business? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Kelly Posted August 8, 2010 Administrators Report Share Posted August 8, 2010 Dear Members,We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden, but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com. Kelly Baltzell, MACEO/PresidentBeyond Indigo Family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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