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So depressed


tinas87

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Lost my son over a year ago , and feel so down all the time , it happened all too quick , feel like last  year i had been in total shock , I stuck my self into working full time after it happened to stop my self grieving and thinking too much , and now im starting to grieve more and more , my heart is aching , im shutting my self away from everyone , as the days go on I'm realising il never get to hold or see his smile or hear him giggling and it's getting harder and harder by the day .  I just feel tired and drained all the time. Il go up and Sit on the bench next to his grave for an hour or so and just cry and cant stop crying and think how rubbish my life is without him . Hate my life without him 

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Dear one.   The second yr is even harder for it is more real.   I suspect ur working more would not have kept this time from coming.    

It is normal to try to step over the GREIF.   But in my he end we must work thru all the comes from losing a loved one.  The challenge is to figure out how one can.  Will can liVE HERE on this earth without them.  One day u will not feel such daily intervenes of ur loss.  Time does not heal.  But it does lessen the total trama.  And grieving takes longer than we want it what others think it should. 

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Tinas87 I am sorry for the loss of your little boy. i agree with rainie that the second year is in its own way harder. There is an element of shock cushioning you in the first year although that is when you have to do viewings and the funeral and all the agonising crap that goes along with it. each year is hard in its own way, you are forced to make a new normal and readjust your life and it does not matter how long ago that it happened, it happened and now you have to go on living. i lost my Tommy 18 months ago and feel I only just turned the corner last month. There was a gradual change when I felt i was actually alive and not just existing, beginning to make small plans for a future and wanting to make positive changes for others in his memory. The tunnel is almost all behind me, but you never forget and never stop  feeling the sadness because grief is expressing your love for someone who you cannot hold in your arms physically but desperately want to. Your son is still with you all the time, he never left you, he is there you just can't see him for now. maybe you need some time off work  to make time for yourself to really think? perhaps you just coped before because it was expected and now you need a bit more help? We all need help do not be ashamed or feel that you should be over it by now, because people that say that just have no fricking idea because they have not lost a child. Go and see your doctor, maybe think about bereavement counselling, it works for some people and anything that may help you is worth the shot isn't it? My beravement counsellor has been amazing she has helped me become stronger mentally and more able to cope with life. that is what all of us should try to acheive, a healthy balance between grieving and choosing to live life. None of us chose this path we were forced onto it, but we can choose to continue on as rising above our trauma and making our children proud of us by not letting our loss define us but making us stronger. it is very, very painful and very hard, and takes a long long time, but you are supported here by those that have experienced tragedy and will offer you support and encouragement. You need more time.

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