Bran

Loss of my cat

3 posts in this topic

Odin was only 2 years old, had all of his shots, was very healthy, and was acting perfectly fine the morning of his death. I awoke to a loud growling, so I thought some how another cat got in and they were growling at eachother, when I saw nothing strange just saw him sleeping on his favorite window seat I thought I dreamt it I was being very quiet so figured that was why he didn't move and look at me. Odin usually sleeps so odd and I always found it cute so I took 2 pictures of him (again was very quiet so just thought he didn't hear me reasoning as to why he didn't move) his head was hanging over / down kinda which I have seen him do once before I think. I went back into my room and started to think that has to be uncomfortable and can possibly be bad for him so I went back out and again he didn't move I knew something was up, as I moved closer calling his name it started to hit me, I began freaking out crying and then finally I touched him and it sunk in. My heart dropped, I began sobbing raced to call my boyfriend. I finally worked up the courage to pick him up and hold him. I kissed him held him then wrapped him in his favorite blanket put him on his bed (which he never slept on cause he slept with us) and put his favorite stuffed animal next to him. I then realized I took pictures of my poor cat right after he died thinking he was just "laying cute" how stupid of me ? My boyfriend finally got home about 45 minutes later stayed a little he was very upset too and very sweet he helped a lot .. but had to go back to work, after about an hour or two I just had to see odin again, (I was waiting for my dad to come and get him which took about 6 hours because he had to get off work and had a 45 min drive, to bury him at my parents house I didn't want him buried where we live because we will move eventually) this time it was so weird tho, he was so stiff I realized then when I had picked him up earlier he had literally just died because he still felt "normal" him being so hard and stiff just killed me. Odin was such a baby with me, he cuddled with me every single day, he wanted held by me he always slept with me, but of course he still is a cat.. he got crazy and would scratch the bottom of the bed so the night before I had to kick him out of our room because he was so loud we couldn't sleep, he would bite me if I would try to pick him up (when he was being rambunctious) so the only way I could pick him up without biting was gently grabbing by the scruff (our vet said this was okay when he was being rough) and carried him out of the room closed the door. He wanted back in but I didn't let him, didn't get to pet him or cuddle just picked him up and locked him out of the room and for some stupid reason I feel guilty ? My boyfriend said this morning Odin was perfectly fine and he put food in his bowl but later after he died I saw he hadn't even touched it.. which isn't like him. I'm worried he was hurting.. I also could have pet him this morning but didn't cause I was still in bed sleepy. I don't cry, I have thick skin im tough it's how I was raised, but this is tearing me up.. for many reasons but I just keep waiting for him to come snuggle with me and I know it's not coming .. I know I'm very lucky it wasn't a person who died but he was family to my boyfriend and I. What helps ? Other then time.. 

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Bran, I am so sorry for your loss of Odin. It is so devastating when we lose a fur friend. From your post, it appears he passed peacefully in his sleep. That should bring a little comfort.  Odin gave you joy, companionship and love for the short time he had with you. You gave him the same in return. Feel blessed you had an opportunity to love and care for him for his short time given here. Odin will hold a special place in your heart.

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Something had to be born wrong with him for him to die so young for no apparent reason, but no way you could have foretold it.  It sounds like you had a good life together and in the end that's what matters to them as they don't have the sense of time like we do.  I'm sorry for your loss, of course it's hard, doesn't matter if pet or human, they're still family.  
This article should explain some of what you're feeling:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf

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