New to this.......

[Lost1]

Hello, I've just come across this page and can relate to some of the posts I've read.

My husband died (I've at last written that phrase down) almost 4 weeks ago in a traffic accident while he was a pedestrian.  The shock and disbelief of this happening is overwhelming and I'm probably still in shock as I'm not crying all day every day but the longing and missing him is unbearable, I feel numb.   I still keep thinking this hasn't happened and expect him to come home!!. 

Im not sure what I want to say or hear really except that I'm broken and feel like my world has ended. He was just 58, recently taken early retirement and had so much to look forward to - our new grandchild arriving in the summer, our daughter getting married, not seeing his beautiful granddaughter again or hearing her chatter. Why is life so unfair? After being married for 31 years I'm not sure how to cope without him. 

[Andy]

4 hours ago, Lost1 said:

Hello, I've just come across this page and can relate to some of the posts I've read.

My husband died (I've at last written that phrase down) almost 4 weeks ago in a traffic accident while he was a pedestrian.  The shock and disbelief of this happening is overwhelming and I'm probably still in shock as I'm not crying all day every day but the longing and missing him is unbearable, I feel numb.   I still keep thinking this hasn't happened and expect him to come home!!. 

Im not sure what I want to say or hear really except that I'm broken and feel like my world has ended. He was just 58, recently taken early retirement and had so much to look forward to - our new grandchild arriving in the summer, our daughter getting married, not seeing his beautiful granddaughter again or hearing her chatter. Why is life so unfair? After being married for 31 years I'm not sure how to cope without him. 

Lost1, 

I'm so, so very sorry for the loss you've suffered. I don't have any words to make anything better, but I wish I did. It's been 6 weeks since my wife passed away, unexpectedly and also on the younger (42) side. I cry everyday, I miss her every minute I'm awake and it's just myself and our 20 year old daughter. This is still so raw for you, and yes, I would think that you are in shock. This is all unfair, unbelievable and makes no sense. 

Please, share whatever you feel you need to talk about, say what you like. Your grief doesn't have rules, not time table, so say what you need to as long and as often as you'd like. The people here are so kind and generous and can offer an insight and comfort few others can. 

Bless you and may you find comfort,

Andy

[KayC]

Lost,

I'm sorry, those words sound too trite and for the voluminous loss that it speaks for.  One month in is the very beginning but for you it probably feels a lifetime ago, at least that's how it was for me.  My husband died unexpectedly when he'd just turned 51.  We had years to live together yet, we were supposed to grow old together.  

I try to live each day staying in the moment and not thinking too far ahead because it's too hard to take on the whole "rest of my life" and I get anxiety if I go there.  Try to remember to breathe and be real patient and understanding of yourself, self care is important.

You've found a good place to come to, it helps to know there are others that care and understand...this is that place.

[HHFaith]

Lost,

I am also so sorry for your loss, and all of our losses.  My boyfriend/partner/love of my life was also only 58 when he died suddenly on New Years.  I'm new to this too and it is absolutely heartbreaking and painful.  There are no words to describe it.  As KayC says, it does seem like a lifetime ago that this happened.  I have no concept of time or date.  Life has changed.  The world is different now.  I know I will get through this but it is hard, for all of us.  I haven't posted that much but I have been reading others' posts.  It is comforting to know we are not alone.  Try to reach out to others any way you can.  I am off to Panera now to meet a friend for tea.  I have been living on tea since this happened!  I've lost 13 pounds, which I wanted to do for the new year, but certainly not like this!!  Keep the faith.

[Francine]

 

LostI

 

I am so sorry for your pain and I know your suffering.  I too lost the love of my life, my husband of nearly 45 years two months ago and I too feel numb.  I feel as if I'm in a nightmare that I can't wake myself from.  Like you, my husband and I had both retired and was looking forward to our new life (life after retirement) together.  What plans we had.  That all changed on December 6, 2016 - the worst day of my entire life.  That day when the love of my life was taken from this earth.  God didn't promise days without pain;laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain.  He did promise strength for the day, comfort for our tears and light for the way.

I know - life is so unfair and I don't claim to know why things happen the way they do but I know God will calm the storm, and other times, he lets the storm rage and calm his children.  I get it and it hurts like hell.  I hope you know that even in your hurt God has blessed you when he designed that man specifically for you, allowing you 31 years of love shared; a lovely daughter and soon to be a lovely granddaughter. What a legacy to leave.   Some have nothing to leave.   Like you, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband; but instead, I am deeply honored (as I know you are) in knowing that he spent the rest of his life with me; loving me until his last breath. That makes me so proud and happy.  The life given us by God is sometimes short, but the memory of a life will spend is eternal. So often in the our darkest hours, we see the brightest light.  The scars may remain (possibly forever), but your wound will heal in time because no matter where you find yourself, no matter your present situation, no matter the trials before you… you’ve been through hell and survived. 

Death is not the end. It is a "New Beginning" for those we have lost.  They are greeted by familiar faces of old family and friends who have passed on before them. It is an amazing transition into a new world called "Heaven".

God is not finished with you, he has plans for you; plans that are far far better than any left behind.  

I hope you continue to visit this website. It is a source of comfort and encouraging people who are not afraid to share their stories.  We are all in this grief together by God's grace, we'll get through.   God Bless and us all.   

[Lost1]

It's comforting to know there are other people out there who are feeling the same as I do.  

[KMB]

Lost1----I am so very truly sorry. I have no words to add to what everyone has already expressed. My heart goes out to you. Every time someone new joins on, it's a relief that they were able to find this safe place of support but, it is also very saddening that we all have to find this place. We are on this journey of grieving the loss of our beloveds together and it is a great comfort to know that we are not truly alone.