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I lost my son yesterday, and I don't know what to do now


Ferrin

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He was running a slight fever, and I put him down for a nap, and he stopped breathing in his sleep. My older daughter was sick, and he caught her cold. And now he's gone. And I miss him, and I love him. And he was just a little boy. I feel like I failed him. And I don't know what to do now. My wife and I haven't stopped crying, and I don't know how to comfort her, when I need that same comfort. 

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i am terribly terribly sorry. if you want come to the loss of an adult child forum. though we have lost adult children we welcome anyone and it is very active and many people will respond to you. i am so sorry. i lost my 28 year old son five years ago and i am still learning how to live. it is a long long road with many switchbacks. don't expect anything from yourselves right now. it has just happened, just hang on to each other, try to rest, remember to eat something. just getting through the first few days is very hard, just try to be there for each other and try to do self care. moving forward can't happen yet. so early in this journey. please visit our forum so many loving parents will be there to help you as you have to face each day.

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Thank you, I posted there. I wish I had more words for how sorry I am to anyone that feels this way.

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ferrin I am so sorry for your loss. You did not fail as a parent or do anything wrong. bad bad stuff just happens to good people sometimes. Everyone here has had those feelings of failure to forsee or protect their child  no matter what age they were. This is normal for parents who have always been the protector and deeply love their child/ children. We all want to fix  or change things and it is so agonising to realise we can't. For every illness there are a few people who have severe complications, even from colds or the flu. No one, even the most experienced doctors who are parents  too, can anticipate or diagnose accurately an outcome from an illness. Sudden losses are especially hard because your life changes in an instant, you are shocked and unprepared, and most of us on this forum sadly experienced sudden unexpected loss in one form or other, whether it was illness, murder, suicide or an accident. you are so new to grief and all that it entails, and i applaud you for having the strength to reach out for help and support for your family. Cry together, it is ok, sometimes just hugging means more than words especially if your words are strangled by that lump in your throat and the pain in your heart. Accept all the help you can get from family and friends, try to rest when you can and concentrate on making it through the next ten minutes, and then the next ten minutes, breaking every decision and action into tiny more manageable chunks. There is no rush, you all need some time to absorb what has happened, it is a tremendous shock. i feel for you as I can remember clearly how paralysed I felt and how disbelieving, like it was just a horrible nightmare. On this forum you will be supported and cared about by other bereaved parents who totally understand your pain and anguish because we have all been there. stay in touch and take care.

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I lost my beautiful darling daughter only a week ago. Just like your son Ferrin, I put her down to bed with a slight temperature and she never woke up. I miss her so much and I don't know what to do now. I feel just like you, I let her down. My job was to protect her but now she is gone.

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Tashm i am so sorry you lost your daughter. I understand how devastating that feels. I also admire your strength in reaching out for help. I was not able to do that for months and suffered greatly as a result. You have come to the right place here we have all had the agony of losing a child/children and it is soul destroying. Our situations may all be different but we all understand your pain and will try and help you through ok? The thread Loss of an adult child is the most active because it keeps us all in one place, you are welcome to join us there, or continue here as you wish. just know you did nothing wrong you did not let her down it was just a very tragic happening. We cannot protect our children from everything it is not possible, we do the very best we can with them whilst they are with us. share when you feel able and we will support you, you are not on your own with this pain.

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