How do I live

[Nathaniel's mommy]

I don't know how to go on. On January 19th I was admitted for preterm labor. They did everything they could to stop it. By January 23th my little angel was born at 32 weeks. I read up that the survival rate was high for him. He had some trouble breathing due to him being born early. I only got to held him for a few minutes before they took him to the NICU. I went to go see him and he was full of life. He kept kicking and moving. Over the next few days he developed a bacterial infection and by the time they figured out what type it was and able started treatment. It was to late. He was stable but no more brain activity. It devastated me to know he wasn't there any more. We made the decision to unplug the breathing machines. On January 26th my angel went to a better place. I miss him everyday. He was my first baby and I don't know how I'm going to do it without him.

[Tommy's mum]

so sorry Nathanielsmommy, Losing a child is just the most devastating thing in the world regardless of how long you have had with them. You still bonded with him during your pregnancy and short time with Nathaniel. I used to work in Neonatal Intensive care so I have been a part of supporting bereaved parents and attending a few funerals of families that I had a special connection with, not too many because us nurses also feel the losses acutely and it would be too easy to become overwhelmed. That was many years ago now, and I believe there are several parents on this site who have also lost babies who can probably offer you more support than I can. All I can offer you is a welcome and know that you will be supported and understood and not judged. We have all been on this lonely, scary path of grief some longer than others. Know that you absolutely made the right decision with the life support and also know your baby passed with all your love surrounding him. Love never dies it just takes place in a different form when your child is gone from your arms.