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fzald

ADCs as therapy

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There are a lot of people who believe ADCs (after-death communications) are fake. They feel that they are things we create in our own minds, to try to aid our own grieving. These people will also tell you that once you die, that's it - you're done. They'll tell you there is no afterlife, there is no reincarnation, there is nothing except life and death.

I have never been a highly spiritual person, and neither was my girlfriend. She was a girl of logic, observing the world around her and building her knowledge strictly on what she could observe. She tended to reject most organized religion. But she did believe - as do I - that there is something that we do not understand and will never. Human consciousness and free will - the things that make us uniquely us - are something that even the best neurosurgeons haven't been able to fully explain. They might be able to manipulate it, but they can't explain why it exists in the first place. How is it possible that a bunch of supposedly deterministic matter, formed into a certain shape, can create a being which is able to think for itself, make intelligent decisions and build the world we live in today? How can our brains feel emotions, how can we feel ourselves being present, and how can we have the level of free will we do? Nothing has truly explained that scientifically.

I do not know if ADCs are real. I have experienced a lot of extremely vivid dreams about my girlfriend who passed only a week ago. But I do know that these dreams, or maybe ADCs, are bittersweet. On one hand, it could be her way of telling me she is OK and happy and that there actually is an afterlife that I will be able to meet her in someday. On the other hand, when I wake up from those dreams I cry and weep for the loss all over again.

But I do find that if I choose to believe that ADCs are real, it seems to hurt just a little bit less. If I believe that those dreams are my mind's own creation, it feels empty and lonely and longing. If I believe they actually are her reaching out to me in sleep, communicating to me, then I feel a tiny bit better. I feel like even in her death I may have a way to reach out to her when I feel the need. I feel a little comforted believing - even though it goes against my own baseline beliefs - that she's waiting for me. 

How do you guys feel?

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I feel like this as well. Sometimes I also wonder if Im not just imagining all those little signs just to make me feel better, or that there really is something after life. Im not religious at all, but I also admit, that, like you, I feel better when I "pretend" that my mom is still around and can hear me and see me. I would love for it to be true...but I dont know. But honestly, it does make me feel better so I go with it. I already feel miserable enough...

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I don't know what to believe either. I'm looking for a sign from my dad that passed last year. I thought I was getting a few signs but I'm just not sure. Two months after his passing I found a nickel by the car. Three months after his passing, I had more light bulbs need replacing in the house then ever before. And at one point I thought I heard footsteps in his old room. And once when I was at the cemetery, a dog came running up behind his grave site barking at me. I don't know if these mean anything or I'm just grasping at straws. I would really like to believe there is a spirit world. And my dad is restored to his former good health and enjoying coffees with his friends. I hope this is true. I think for my own peace of mind, I will try to believe this.

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