My Dad died when I was one month old

[Ryan12345]

Hello, my name is Ryan and im 14.

My dad died 14 years ago, and I still find myself balling out in tears, everything seems to be out of my control and my mind is always focused on him and the events around it.

he died in a car crash in 2002, the same year I was born and im having trouble coping, part of me thinks hes just a stranger and the other part of me treats him like a celebrity

I have little to no information about him, I have 3 pictures of him when he was older but the rest are pictures of him as a kid, and they don't give me any sort of satisfaction

It might not sound like it, but im sitting at my computer with a picture of him, balling my eyes out.

I usually start this sort of stuff from a song that triggers it, or just something on a video or TV

Im getting councelling but its more to do with my concentration in school, more than the loss of my dad himself

I dont feel like I have anyone to talk to because I dont want to bring it up with my mum or stepdad incase it upsets them. 

I just need someone that can relate, I want to be able to open up to anyone and be able to tell someone as much as I know about my dad

[reader]

Dear Ryan,

I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. Its only natural to be tearful after losing such an important person in your life. I wonder are there any family members or friends of your dad, that could share stories about him with you.  I know you mentioned already getting counselling for school. But hopefully the school counsellor will help you find another counsellor specializing in grief and bereavement. You are not alone. We are all here for you. I know its hard.

For my own grief, I have found these sites helpful, What's Your Grief and a book called the Grief Recovery Handbook.

Please continue to post. And share your thought and feelings with us. Many of us can identify with you.