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Hello im new here and never would have thought that i would be looking at these forums. Me and my fiance lost our baby girl on the 25th. Her name is maddison saint claire henderson and she passed at 37 weeks. She is our first child and it hurts knowing that we will never get to know her. We are lost and i feel like i am missing apart of my soul never getting to meet her. I gave birth to her naturally and felt ever piece of her passing through me and loved it. I just wanted to know if you ever get a little better? Does you heart ever get a little lighter? And how do you go on to love your next childern when you didnt even get a chance to love your first?

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I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter. Most parents who have lost their children gather together to post in "Loss of an Adult Child." Everyone is welcome, including those who have lost their babies at very early ages. You are so welcome to post in that forum. 

While I have not lost a child like you have, I do know that each child I have had, I've loved as much as the ones who came before. You'll have love for all of your next children. It will come naturally. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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I have had two stillborn babies. My son Malachi was born at 20 weeks due to me having cervical incompetence on feb 3rd 2009. They discovered this to late as my amniotic sac was already bulging. I was in the hospital 2 weeks trying to save him. In 2014 I was 24 weeks pregnant with my daughter Layla when i was hit head on by a drunk driver. She died several hours after with them being unable to do a C section because i had lost to much blood. I can tell you grieving is a long hard process. It takes time which sucks. I had to get help because i was not grieving in a healthy way. The first year is the hardest because you go threw all the firsts. The second year is hard to because you just still miss them. The hopes and dreams i had for my children where the hardest to give up. I found by talking about my children it helps. Also finding a good councler. Also kbow men grieve differently so dont be to hard on the father if he grieves different. The death of a child can bring a couple together or in my case tear a couple apart. Go easy on yourself its not an overnight process. You will love your next child but i will not lie it can be hard to bond when your prego because your scared to lose another child. Again give your self a break its hard.

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Hi MadisonMom, 

I am so sorry for you loss. Please trust and know that it does get better. Your heart will heal and this experience will open you up to a lot of blessings, it will just take time to see them. Sometimes souls come into this Earth and leave very quickly. We will never know why, but they got all that they needed here. Sometimes, the soul comes back to you (say as another child you may birth). The most important thing is to keep the connection with this soul. Know that she is a conscious being and she had a very good reason for not choosing to be born at this time. Sometimes, you can tap into the soul’s essence and ask them why this happened. Just know that you will be connected for all of eternity. You will still get to know her through her spirit, and she wants you to open to these new ways of perceiving life. 

Sending you lots of love,

Julie 

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