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Cally

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I lost my mother 3 months ago and I'm 22 and I'm struggling so much but I can't/won't let anyone see it, my boyfriends sees snippets of it alright but not much as we don't live together and I don't like crying in front of people. My friends are good but fairly useless when it comes to this topic there scared to bring it up or ask me how I'm doing cause they don't know how to respond I suppose but that just make me angry cause I feel there being so rude and just ignoring everything I'm going through they've never lost somebody that close to them. 

How do I approach the topic with them cause I really need people to talk to 

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Hi Cally,

   Sorry for your loss.  Do you have at least one very close friend who you could just say I need to talk about this will you listen?  If not, are there any relatives you can reach out to (sibling, cousin, aunt)?  I imagine your friends are afraid of upsetting you which is why they are avoiding the subject. You started by saying that you can't/won't let people see that you are struggling and that's the reason why they aren't bringing it up.  You need to let them know that you are struggling and allow your friends (and your boyfriend) be there for you.

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Hi Cally,

 

I know how you feel because I lost my mom 4 months ago and every one looks up to me be to be strong and have answers and I am just human and miss my mom so what can I do....but I try....

I go on day to day being a wife ,a mom to my 18 year old son who also lost a grandmother who adored him and him her and a daughter to my dad who is suffering the lost of his wife of 55 years.  I try to be strong and help everyone and not think about the pain of not having her with me everyday but its there inside me all the time.

Hang on to your faith and your one good friend if you have someone special like that. You are young but as you get older you will learn who and who not to count on ( I am still learning but think I got a bit better than when I was in my twenties ...I am turning 50 this month)

So anyway I will be most happy to help you any way I can feel free to contact me at alverokiko@gmail.com

I can share some insights into what I have done day to day what you can do to cope along the way and what we al can expect - to heal ....time heals.  All my friends say it gets easier but never goes away forever.

Stay well - open up to your boyfriend he will be the most important person to help you through this - if you both love each other it should be that way.

Will pray for you to feel better and better everyday and know that God has your mommy in heaven and she is now your personal angel.

Take care -write to me if you want to I have a son almost your age , he turns 19 this July - amazing how fast our children grow up :)

Irene

 

 

 

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bob-clearlynotmyname

i lost my mom too when I was 20 - was hard as hell and I know what you mean, cause they won't know how to help. But they're there for you they want to that's why they're there. 

 

if you need to talk to someone tell them . tell your best friend. And lay it all out for them. Its hard but if you wanna do it... do it :) they love you. Its hard to see your friend going through rough times and its hard to see other peoples perspective when you're going though a hard time. 

 

Be awesome just like your mom. Celebrate their life.

 

 

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