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Tami1971

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Hi everyone, obviously I am new here.  I will try to make this as short as possible.

My grandmother (she raised me) is 88 years old and has had a rough 4 months.  She had triple bypass back in October, went into rehab for a few weeks, came home and was doing pretty well.  About a month ago, she had another heart attack due to 2 of the bypasses collapsing. They (the doctors) put 3 stints in.  Needless to say this did not work either.  She was released to come home with Hospice last Friday.  She is not doing well at all - I just think every time I go in to care for her she will not be with us any longer.  She is very delusional, can't open her eyes and very combative when not sedated which we hate to do.

Not only are we going through this but my husband and I are at each others throats.  I know it is due to the stress.   He and I packed everything up on Nov 19th and moved 2 hours away to move in with my grandmother and mother to care for both of them.  We lived in the city and now we live in the country - It is a HUGE adjustment along with everything else.

As far as work goes, my husband telecommutes and I quit my job last Friday due to needing to care for the family which now just adds to the stress.

Honestly, I am not even sure why I am writing this - It seems so jumbled up but my mind is pretty jumbled up right now too.

I guess I just need advice on how to handle death and how to manage the other relationships as well.

Thank you in advance!!

Tami 

 

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Dear Tami,

I'm so sorry I know this is very stressful time in your life. There is a lot on your shoulders. I know you love your grandmother and want to give her all your time. I would want to do the same thing. Its a challenging time being a full time caregiver and also managing a new household. I'm not sure if there any community resources you could access. Have you considered counseling? Joining a support group? Please try and be as kind and gentle as you can with yourself and your husband. I know its a lot to process. And everyone is doing the best they can. Thinking of you. I would also suggest this website AgingCare.com There is a lot of great advice about caring for an elderly person.

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Reader,

Thank you for all of your kind words, however, my sweet grandmother received her wings and went to be with the Lord early this morning.  My heart is absolutely broken.  I honestly don't know how I am going to handle this.  I do not consider myself a strong person.  I can't imagine my life without her.  She was my rock.  I have a lot of support but it doesn't bring her back, nothing will.   

Again, thank you so much - Have a good night.

Tami

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Dear Tami,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your cherished grandmother. I'm so sorry. I know its horribly painful to lose such an important person in your life. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sending you hugs, Reader.

 

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