Gone to soon

[Bjager]

Three nights ago I woke up to an empty bed, so I got up to go tell my fiance to come to bed. When I didn't find him in the living room I went out side to see if he had left. I heard music from the garage so I went back inside to go to the garage.  . When I opened that door my entire world crashed. He was dead. Weight lifting accident...I don't even know .  I have no words I feel lost and scared hurt physically and emotionally... next month would have been our 1 year anniversary.  I keep thinking if I had just stayed up this would have never happened. I want him back so badly. How in the world do I keep going ? 

[Sadaf Nazim]

Bjager 

I am so sorry for your loss. What you have witnessed is very cruel and your whole world have turned upside down. Your loss is very fresh and you must be feeling excruciating pain. But with time, the intensity of pain does lessen.

I lost my fiance and my childhood bestfriend 2 months ago. He was only 24.

The first month was unbearable for me. But with time, we learn to live with it and it becomes a little bearable. There are heartaches still, coming in waves. 

Don't think about how to keep going. You would figure out that later. Just think about this moment, this day. Breath. Surround yourself with supporting people. Talk to them about how you feel. Talk to us. We are all here for you and we understand your loss. 

Your fiance is only physically gone.Spiritually he is still with you (I know it's not enough).  But know that he still loves you, watches over you. I strongly believe that our relationship still continues in a different way. Life existed before we came to this planet, and it exists afterwards. 

God bless you! 

[KMB]

Bjager

You have my heart felt condolences. Such a horrific scene to walk into and I'm so sorry. I hope you have support of family and friends with you for the days and months ahead. I know you feel guilty, we all deal with that. Horrific things happen and we cannot be with our loved ones every second. You were sleeping and had no way of knowing something would happen. But, it did and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Life happens the way it is meant to both good and bad. I am so sorry.

This is a wonderful forum of caring people who will listen, hear you and give you whatever support we can. Log on here anytime to cry, vent, whatever you feel like posting. There is no judgment here, we'll be with you every step of the way.

When the emotions overwhelm you, go with them. Then focus on breathing. That will be more than enough to handle. You will keep going, just take it one second, one minute, at a time. Prayers and virtual hugs going out to you.

[KayC]

Bjager,

Oh god how hard!  I'm so sorry!  There are no words we can give you to make any kind of difference, but our hearts yearn to all the same.  We've been there.  The loss of the one we love is the hardest thing in the world and it just blindsides us!

As KMB said, take one day or minute or second at a time.  Try not to look ahead more than you absolutely have to, right now, this moment, is enough to deal with and will muster all your strength.  Practice good self care, even as he would have taken care of you, now you must take care of you yourself.  Whatever love and understanding and patience you would have for him, give it to yourself now, you need it.  And yes, breathe.  Eat something healthy, drink some water, take a walk.

I remember feeling frantic when I lost my husband, I paced miles in the perimeters of my house.  I talked to anyone who would listen, which wasn't easy because everyone seemed to disappear.  The family members cared but didn't understand, didn't have a clue what it was like, still don't.  That's what's good about this place, we all get it, we understand and we'll listen.

Keep coming here, our hearts go out to you.

[Francine]

Bjager

You must be going through hell; I can only tell you how sorry I am for your lost.  Your life is going to be filled with changes - it already is. You may be uncertain you will survive this loss or uncertain you have the energy or desire to try to heal.  Within the upcoming weeks, you will begin a journey that is often frightening, overwhelming and very lonely. Expect to have all kinds of crazy emotions and roller coaster rides.   Your fiance has just passed, this person was someone you had intended to spend the rest of your life with.  You may feel you are not sure of who you are and very confused; after all, you have lost a part of yourself.   - It's normal and expected.

Surround yourself with positive people and know that eventually you will get through this horrific time in your life.   I hope you continue to visit this website; it is filled with amazing people who are not afraid to share their stories and their ability to offer you the words of comfort, encouragement and inspiration you so desperately need at this time.

My prayer is for God to send is unwavering love, his surmountable strength and his inner peace.   Open your heart to God's spirit - he'll do the rest.  God Bless and keep you safe.

[Bjager]

Today is the funeral.  I am so ...I don't know how to explain it. My chest hurts I feel like I'm still in shock. My eyes are swollen from all the crying. Part of me just want to get back in my bed and not go... I want to wake up from this horrable nightmare.  

[Emeliza]

I am so sorry.  I wish I could give reassurance.  It gets worse for a bit and than it does start to get easier.  It will seem like forever though that you are in that pit, but I am 5 months out and I have some ok days, in fact some weeks I have more ok days than awful days.  The waves sometimes are smaller and there is more time to breathe between them.

Just focus on one foot in front of the other and to keep breathing.  You got this, even though you don't feel you do and even though it is brutual.  You were and are loved.

[KMB]

Bjager, My thoughts are with you on this day. You are still in shock, but you will get through it. You will get through it for the love of your fiance. Emeliza is right, it is going to get worse, especially after the shock wears off. Then you might be numb for awhile. But it does start getting a little easier as time goes on. The love you shared with your fiance will always be there, you will always carry that in your heart and be your saving grace during the worst moments. We are here for you. Prayers going out to you.

[KayC]

Bjager,

How was it?  You're in all our thoughts...

[Bjager]

The funeral was beautiful. It's what he would have wanted. I'm hurting I was able to take some of his ashes with me and just having him with with me helps but it's still so unbearable 

[KayC]

Bjager,

I'm glad the funeral was good, I was hoping that would be your experience.  I know it's hard to get through but it seemed helpful to me to see so many people that cared about him, people whose lives he touched.  I know this is hard, you will get through this even though there's many days you'll wonder about it.  We're here for you.

[KMB]

Bjager, It's comforting to hear the funeral went as well as your fiance would have wanted. I'm sure it was a beautiful service with many there to honor him. Having some of his ashes will mean a lot for you. You can have ashes incorporated into jewelry, the outline of a tattoo, etc. Or just keep in a special place of honor in your home.

Yes, you are hurting and we hurt for you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Francine]

Bjager

You're stronger than you realize  - you made it through the funeral.  That's big step #1.  Little by little you'll take additional  "big" steps and before you realize it, you will have taken a giant leap toward recovery.  It won't be what you expect. It won't be pain free. Life won't go back to normal.  It will be different - but you will recover.   God Bless you during this most difficult time in your life.

[Nads]

Bjager...you hang in there. It's gonna get harder now but you will get through. I'm almost four months in and it's getting a bit better but I still have bad days. Posting and reading here has really helped me. Hope you feel comforted by it too. My prayers are with you.