Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Loss Of father Help


helofeelo

Recommended Posts

  • Members


Im a 22 year old student, and am in desperate need of help. The past two years have been very traumatic for myself, having lost my father in a road accident back in April 2015, being left responsible for my Disabled mother and younger brother. My priorities at first were to sort out all of the finances and set everything in order, since my father was the only breadwinner. I continued with my studies and managed to obtain good grades. However although everything in my life now seems to be on track, my brain has other ideas.
I have been suffering from severe anxiety as well as elements of depression which escalated over christmas. There was a trigger event that first caused me to have anxiety symptoms, heart palpitations, tight chest etc (close to 2 months ago)... but I became obsessed at first with it being to do with my health. It escalated over Christmas to more of a anxious state of mind, making me lose appetite and induced insomnia. Other health related problems were ruled out I was told it I had major anxiety and elements of depression
Life is now governed by my mindset, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin at times, restlessness beyond imagination, and fear... fear about the slightest thing. Its got to the stage where it's tearing me apart. I cant watch a TV show without feeling like I want to curl up in a ball, or read an article without thinking illogically and sending my brain in a whirl of craziness. The crazy thing about it all is, everyone knows me as the guy who doesn't stress, who loves horrors, who loves to socialise, its all happened so fast and hit so hard. I've also felt tremendously low at times, VERY low, as if im never going to feel happiness again sort of low. 
Thankfully the passed few days, things seem to be on the mend, but only when being away from home. I still have anxiety symptoms like itchy chest or tightness, but haven't felt anxious as such...
The pictures of my dad make me feel pure fear... I feel out of control of the way I think and feel now.
I have had constant worries that what I am going through was my slow decent to insanity, or whether I have Bipolar disorder. However after consulting a friend, she said about the steps of grieving. About how it can induce the things Im feeling right now if you DONT deal with loss properly.
I just need some reassurance, someone to tell me this wont last forever... that this will fade???
I feel I need to open up, I feel I need to be brought back up from the pit I dug myself into... And I intend on doing this but...

has this happened to anybody else, or do you know of anyone who this has happened to?

as I say the past few days have really been on the up, but only because im away from home... 

I realise this is a very personal post, but I feel the whole reason I got myself in this state is because I havent been in touch with my own personal feelings. Will it get easier????

Many thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Onesadaughter

Helofeelo, 

I totally feel your pain. I feel like I too will never be happy again, and have been worried about my health as well. I think death makes us realize how fragile we really are. I have those sleepless nights and crazy feelings. Sometimes when I start to have a panic attack, I focus on my breathing and talk myself down. I tell myself that I'm just having an attack and that there is really nothing physically wrong with me. This method usually works for me. I wish I had more advice, but just know you're not alone. Gonna pray for you and I'm sorry for your loss.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

thanks for you're reply.

It is very odd, I was fine for more than a year, but I feel I have suppressed everything so much, since the pain was too great.

Im hoping time will heal, and get me out of this bottomless pit im in right now. Thanks for your prayers, and im so sorry to hear you're having to deal with symptoms similar to mine.

I had a long 3 hour cry last night, just consistent, like i've never done before. And the relief afterwards was unbelievable. I think it is going to be a long road of acceptance, but I hope and pray that I can live a life which isnt crippled to the extent it is now.

I hope the same for you also.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Onesadaughter

Helofeelo

Thank you. I feel that if we stay in this group and continue to support each other and talk about our feelings it will make the road a little easier to bear. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Yes! it's gotten to the point with me where I dont even know my own emotions anymore... Am I feeling sad about his loss or am I just using that as an excuse... very odd. If you ever want to ventilate then feel free to message over this. 

May I ask, did you suffer with any anxiety symptoms before the loss of your father?

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Onesadaughter

Hey helofeelo

Sorry it took so long to reply. Yes I have suffered from anxiety attacks in the past. I haven't had any in a while but think my dads death has triggered something. Just really feeling fragile and scared about my health. I just try talking myself down most of the time. How have you been feeling?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.