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Love is Forever


Francine

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Just felt the need to write. I'm having somewhat of a better day today - yesterday was simply awful and very hard for me to get through. I'm riding that roller coaster.  Went to church and I made it through without breaking down - my eyes did swell on a few of the songs the choir sang, but all-in-all, it was good.   After the services, I met someone who had lost her husband a couple of years earlier and shared some her feelings with me.   She couldn't stay too long, and unfortunately has to attend a close friend's funeral next Sunday (she indicated she wouldn't attend next Sunday).  She was so pleasant and offered, upon her return, to sit down and share some of her experiences with me. I was to grateful and indicated that I am looking forward to our visit.  

God knows our grief and puts people in our paths to help us with whatever we are going through.  He knows we need to mourn and mourning is the open expression of our thoughts and feelings regarding the loss of our loved ones; he knows it is an essential part of our healing.

I know my mourning has just begun (my love was taken from this world on December 6, 2016) and I don't know what to expect.  What I do know is that it has affected my head, heart and spirit.  I Love my husband with my entire being and will continue to do so.  He will always be a part of me no matter where this life leads me.  God is my strength  - he specially designed this man just for me and allowed us 45 happy years together.  that's more years than some people are alive.  He allowed us to bring two lovely children into this world whom we raised together.  He allowed us to stay in love with one another until the day he took him home.  When I think about it, I can't be angry; no I'm not angry, I'm thankful, grateful and blessed.  God Bless us All! 

 

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Francine, You were blessed to meet a new friend that you can connect to in future visits. We need people in our lives, even more so during our journey of grieving. We need the feelings of love and care. Prayers to you.

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Francine,

I'm so glad...He places people in our lives just when we need them. 

Today I am starting a grief support group (through our church) for widows.  I don't know how many will show up, today is the introductory part.  I made something for them to take home that I thought might be of help to them.  I made some phone calls but some weren't home, some weren't sure, some dismissive, so we'll see who shows up.  If it's of help to even one person, it's worth doing.

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KayC---What a wonderful idea for starting a support group, all on your own! It must have taken some work and effort that you put in for resources, printing, church permission and scheduling, etc. God will help you out and like you said, even if one person is there, it is a start and worth doing. By your being on this forum, you have been so giving and supportive to the rest of us. We are all going to be on this journey of grief for our lifetimes and I commend you for your faith and courage. Best of luck and I'm sure your support group will catch on and be a success.

How is Arlie?

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KMB:  Thanks for your words of encouragement.  I really appreciate them.

KayC:   Kudos and congratulations on the Widows Support Group. Excellent idea - I know whoever joins (and I hope they do) will  truly benefit from it - especially with someone who is so supportive and uplifting such as yourself.   God Bless.  

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Thanks you guys.  We had our first meeting yesterday but the ones we did it for didn't show up.  Our pastor's wife was pushing to have it yesterday and that didn't give people enough notice, they had plans, but she wanted to be there to "launch" it  (why?) and since it was MLK day she had the day off.  I think it's more important to go with everyone else's schedule since she hasn't suffered loss and won't be involved with it, but whatever, it basically was a wasted time and kind of anti-climatic.  Since there was one person and she'd been kind of roped into coming, I barely touched on what I'd prepared.  I did go over and briefly meet with one of the people that wanted to attend, she couldn't be there because her caregiver was scheduled to come.  I felt it was a mess but we'll see how it goes next time.  The timing isn't good for me, I'm scheduled for eye surgery in ten days and snow is coming again, but the pastor's wife has really pushed this.  Not sure how it's going to go...

I know what to say, what not to say, I have some materials because I'd considered starting a grief support group years ago but I was too fresh in my grief then, I just wish this wasn't the dead of winter and esp. such a harsh winter.

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Oh and Arlie is doing better.  Not sure if I told you about his allergic reaction, that was scary, a few nights ago he sneezed continuously for nearly two hours.  I gave him four Benedryl and he finally slept it off.  It sure scared me though!  colitis is doing well for the moment...it's a day by day thing that I've had to learn to live with and deal with, will be the rest of his life.

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KayC

So it didn't go over well the first time - it will.  Don't think of it as a wasted time; let's say it was a missed opportunity.  A group such as this is so important and beneficial.   If it helps just one person along the way, than it's worth it.  Wishing you well with your eye surgery.  God Bless and keep you and Arlie safe.

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Sorry they are trying to push this along.  I suppose you just have to stick with it for a few months at least to get to some warmer weather when more people are willing to join in.

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KayC---So sorry your initial support meeting didn't go over so well. Does not help that the pastor's wife felt compelled to be pushy and involved. I'm sure as each month goes by, it will go better according to your plans. Maybe when the winter is over and you have a reliable vehicle and time for travel, think about taking your support group resources on the road to the shut ins or those that have caregivers coming in, etc. Maybe put the offer out there that someone who is unable to come to the church or whatever other reasons, can call you during certain hours of the day or evening, just to have you to listen and comfort them. You have so much to offer and give to others with your compassion, knowledge and personal journey.

Best of luck with your eye surgery. Hope it is successful. Glad to hear Arlie is doing as well as can be expected.

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You're right.  I just felt pushed, I think everyone did.  You can't up and decide this thing within a week and expect everyone to show up on a holiday!  There is a shut in that I think might be able to come if someone gets her, another lady had said she'd contact her but then she didn't.  (My car quit making the horrid noises but I'm afraid to drive it out of town until I've driven it here noiselessly for a while.  I still don't know what it was, moisture, ice, cold?)

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