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    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
kelly

My Beyond Indigo Story

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kelly   

When Debbi met her husband, Craig, she knew that it was going to be a fresh start for both of them.  This was a second marriage for both and they had both overcome some serious personal issues. But, after a first date with Craig she found out two things – that they had attended the same high school and that she was going to marry him. 

After their marriage, they left New Jersey and bought 16 pastoral acres in Virginia near the Blue Ridge Mountains.  Together they built their dream home. 

“I thought we’d be there together for the rest of our lives,” Debbi said. 

Unfortunately, that dream was not going to become a reality.  An illness that they both thought was merely a cold escalated into pneumonia and within a few months, Debbi was a widow. 

“I’ll never forget what breathing sounds like when someone’s dying,” Debbi said. “At the end, Craig squeezed my hand. I didn’t want him to go, but I told him that it was okay. It was if he was waiting for my permission to die.”

During the first month after the funeral Debbi didn’t know what she was doing.

“I felt like the world should stop,” she said. “I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep.  On the way home from work I would forget where I lived.” 

 Finally, one night she decided to go on the Internet and search under “Grief.”

 She clicked on the web page for Beyond Indigo and went to the “Loss of Spouse” section.

“I typed in that I felt like I was losing my mind. I didn’t want to sleep and, once asleep, I didn’t want to wake up,” she said. “All I want to do is die.”

 She received a response, “What you are going through is normal. You’re not alone.  I did it too.”

From that point on, Beyond Indigo became an anchor for Debbi.

“Beyond Indigo saved my life,” she said. “Most people don’t like people who are grieving. I think it places their own mortality in front of them.  It was so wonderful to know that there were others out there who knew and understood what I was feeling.”

 “You know, when you are grieving you belong to this club that no one wants to be a member of,” Debbi said. “But at Beyond Indigo, there’s not only grief – there’s love, there’s acceptance, there’s understanding and there’s guidance.”

 “It’s been seven years, and I still miss Craig,” Debbi said. “But just like those angels on Beyond Indigo told me – the hurt and pain have gotten softer. And now I can go on the Beyond Indigo website and be that hand that pulls others up, just like those who helped me when I needed it.”

 “The biggest blessing of my life is that I found Beyond Indigo.”

 

 

 

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sidvis   

My story is like Debbi's.  I too was searching the web for grief support.  I lucked  onto BI and I just read the posts for awhile, until one night I was so upset I got the courage to post.  It felt so good to be able to speak my pain and to have other women listen to me and say they understood.   I have learned that grief is a part of life that all will experience.   The emotional pain is so devastating.  I did survive the death of my husband, though at the beginning I thought I would surely die.  Reading the posts of the women in early grief makes me aware of how far I have come and I want them to know they can do it.  It is not easy, but it is a choice to survive.  What ever it takes to help us process this pain is worth it.  I believe that BI is a healthy tool in that process.  I am forever grateful.

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rodless   

I would like to echo everything Sidvis said. I could not improve on her words. When you are desperate, this board throws a lifeline whether you just read or choose to post. I have come a long distance in the months since July, 2006 whe my husband died and BI has been very important in that journey. Somedays it was the only thing I had to hang onto. I, too, am very grateful for the help and support I've had and hope that I can do the same for others just starting out. 

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I could not agree more.  When my mother passed away in 2001  I visited here, but did not participate.  I read for several months and worked my way thougth the grief.  My father died in 2004 and I was better prepared for that, but when my little brother died suddenly in 2006 I was devasted.  I returned to the board and eventually posted and connected with some beautiful souls on the Siblings thread.  There were days when I was sure that I could not make it through, such as clearing his things out of his apartment, facing the autopsy results, dealing with the investigators to determine his cause of death.  On those days I received phone calls and emails expressing prayers and special thoughts and concerns from my friends here.  I have to be honest and say that I am not sure how I would have made it this far without those friends.  Anytime that someone I know is suffering a loss or having trouble dealing with grief or the terminally ill, I tell them of this website and let them know that there are others out there who are willing to help.  I thank you and am forever grateful.  Jackie, Jeffrey's big sister

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I found this site shortly after my Dad passed away.  It was a true blessing to me.  I was able to open up and share my feelings without feeling like I was looking for pity.  No one in the family really wanted to talk about it and when they did, I couldn't find the words to say.  Or I'd feel like I was dragging them down.  But the people I found on here were so very helpful to me and I felt like I was able to help others at the same time.  I learned that everyone grieves in different ways.  We all handle it differently.  And I found some really good friends at the same time.  After several months I got to the point that I wasn't on here as often.  I was coping a little better and being back here, reading the posts was just to painful and seemed to bring it all back again.  Then I lost my Mother and  I was drawn back here.  It just feels like everyone here is long lost loved ones who really understands your pain, grief and temporary insanity as I called  it.  This website is wonderful and I was, and still am, so glad it was started.  It is amazing.  To me, I felt that I was drawn to the exact people that I was meant to talk to.  Things happen for a reason and God surly placed the right people in my path.  It's not as painful to come here anymore.  I come here and post at times to this day.  It's like writing in a journal, but you sometimes get responses back with helpful info.  I actually come here when I'm feeling down now.  Because if I can help just one person who has been through what I have then it's all good.  I love this site and my heart truly goes out to everyone that uses it.  Because I know they are hurting and I try to help when I can.

Thanks for starting this website. 

 

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Not a bad idea. I came here several years ago when my wife was first diagnosed with a life threatening illness, which will become terminal at some point. What I found here was a lot of hope and support and help through the tough days. While going through this, I was also searching for a daughter I prevoiusly had no knowledge of, as her mother never told me about her. Jennifer was killed before we ever met. I stayed here among friends because of the strength and comfort we share amongst ourselves. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to say thanks for giving us this place where we can find the comfort and hope we need so much. We all do appreciate it.

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mikesmum   

I stumbled onto this site in the middle the night some months after Mike died.  I guess I was looking for something, anything to explain why Mike died, why all the pain all the tears couldn't bring him home.  My 'normal' coping mechanisms were gone. Everything I knew to be true in my life seemed now to be gone, within a blink of an eye I was so totally lost. 

Here I met others who knew my pain, heard my unspoken words and wrapped me in their cloak of wisdom and experience.......without ever having known "Trudi" and all that once meant.............I am still lost, but have joined a group who as am I taking this journey, make time in their lives to stop and offer whatever they.  We move on one step at a time.....

I thank the BI staff who maintain this site, and am indebted to those who saw the need and filled the void........ :cool:

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Hi all,

I came to this website after in '07 after my older brother passed away at the end of '06 unexpectedly(a routine surgery gone waaaaay wrong). I was not prepared for his death and he was the first person in my immediate family to go to Heaven(my other siblings & parents are all still living). It was such a blessing for me to find this website and have the ability to read the "loss of sibling" thread for a few months,before I could even share my feelings of loss in writing. I met 3 gals on that thread that really helped me thru my grief walk(Jackie,Barb & Claudia). I could be ME and share how I was doing on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis. No one here judged my feelings, there was total acceptance & lots of great advice! I am eternally grateful to Dawn & Kelly for running such a blessed site (that truely helped me heal from this crazy rollercoaster ride of the past year & a half). I have found forgiveness, gratitude & wonderful friends here :-) I feel as though I've seen a very sad place in my heart when Harvey died .Now I have a light place in my Heart for Harvey's memory to enrich me with daily. He's my forever angel :-)

Blessings to all,

Diane

Ps..the Rotty is my puppy who Harvey loved dearly (especially dressed up as Star Wars Yoda..LOL..Harvey loved Sci-Fi Movies)

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kelly   

Guess who is traveling the farthest to our reunion?

It's Trudi.

Trudi is traveling all the way from Australia to Minneapolis, MN for our Beyond Indigo reunion in August!

If Trudi can make it, so can you! 

Come check our reunion page: http://www.beyondindigo.com/reunion/

Hope to see you there!

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kelly   

Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields

- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.

- Facebook and Twitter Integration

- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"

- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.

- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board

- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it.

- Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible.

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other.

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family

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