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God is Real


Francine

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Although I have God's assurance that the love of my life is OK, it's still so very difficult not having him here with me.   On cold nights like this one, we would be cuddled up and sipping hot chocolate or tea watching a good movie.  Oh I missed that terribly.  I miss his voice, this smile, his laugh.   I ache knowing I won't have anymore conversations with him.  I went to church today (hadn't been since my love left his world - 12/6/16) and was welcome back by the church congregation.  It was good to see many friendly faces, and receive warm hugs, but the faces and hugs are gone now, and reality has once again set in.   Alone by myself with nothing to do but remember him - remember my love, remember my heart - my husband - remember the good times - the times when I was happy - the times when I had a heart and knew how it worked. 

The tears are coming now and there's nothing I can do about it; so I'll let them flow.  While in Gods greatness, he has assured me that my husband, Charles (I never mentioned his name before) is OK, and for that I'm truly greatfull   God never said it would be easy, but he has promised that he would be with us every step of way.  As much as it hurts sometimes, I know that Gods love and peace is awaiting us all if we only ask.  My wish is for all of us to experience the peace of God's love and strength at this very difficulty time.

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Going to church was hard for me at the beginning.  I never missed a Sunday, but that is more for my kids than for me.  They wanted to go and how do you tell kids no, they can't go to church. And weeks they didn't want to go, I knew if I missed, I would have that much more difficulty going back. Plus I transport another family and I didn't want to leave them unable to get to church.

But seeing all the husbands put their arms around their wives shoulders and just showing love to one another about did me in every week.  

Today I turned a corner though.  I sat next to a friend and her husband during Sunday school and at one point he put his arm around his wife and gave her a bit of a squeeze.  My heart ached, but it made me smile instead of cry.  Not that I didn't cry at other things today at church, but I didn't cry seeing a husband's love for his wife.  I give thanks for this.  

Of course I sob writing about it now as I miss that man so much.  Like you, I miss his smile and hugs and everything.  I even miss the things that irritated me like hair in the sink when he shaved and didn't clean it out.  

Like you, I know my love is ok, but unfortunately, I am not yet.

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Thanks for the kind words of encouragement - they really help.  My prayer is and I know this will happen - God give you the strength to be OK and you will.  God Bless!

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Jeff In Denver

I'm sorry, but I believe that if there is a god he/she has no qualms about inflicting indescribable pain on good people, and/or is completely indifferent and uncaring.  No loving being would let this stuff happen.

But that's just me.

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Jeff

I respect your opinion and even though we disagree - that's OK   Unfortunately, we're riding on a "grief train" at this point in our lives and my only hope is that you find the strength to get off  this train and ultimately find peace within your spirit.  

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While we can respect each other's differences of opinion, let's not use this forum as a place to debate or proselytize theological discussions and realize that we're all in this together trying to make our own way as best as we can.  

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While I feel some responses are directed to my post, I felt the need to respond.  It is not my intentions nor never have been to debate anyone's post - I am here to try to give a little comfort and/or encouragement to others just as I was given when I joined this website.  If any of my post reflected such, I apologize - again that was not its intentions.  Unfortunately, we are all here for the same reason and sometimes we will disagree with one another.  Again, that's OK - I don't see anything wrong in saying that such - saying it in a respectable way, that is.

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Francine---I apologize if you felt I was being rude or confrontational.  I shouldn't have posted.  I get worried about pushing religion or ideology on people because I have so many non believing friends or friends that believe much differently than I do.  I was just worried about people like that and I should have just left it alone.

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Me too, Emeliza.  Even though I agree, I don't want this to be a place where everyone doesn't feel comfortable as all need help for their grief.

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Emeliza/KayC

Thank you both for reaching out - your words truly mean a lot to me and touch my spirit.    When I joined this website, you both reached out to me with comforting words that made me realize I was not alone in this grief journey and assured me that I'd somehow be OK.  I felt so welcomed and knew this was where I wanted to be and still do.   Please know that my intentions were always genuine and sincere holding the best interest of others in mind.  

In looking back, I may have reacted to quickly or read something that was simply not there.  Needless to say, all I ever wanted to do was help anyone through their grief journeys like I was help and still am.  While I'm still new in this grieving process, (nearly two months in) I realize I still have a long way to go and would want nothing but the two of you helping me alone this journey. 

God Bless you both and all of us.

Francine

 

 

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