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karina

Horrible accident

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karina   

Hi I posted here because I dont know what else to do. I was looking after my friends dog, she had to go to funeral out of our area and he was supposed to go to kennels, that all changed last min due to him not having his vacinations, he is a rescue dog and she is his foster mom, he is great with people just reactive to other dogs and his lead. He had been here 4 days and he was being so good walking well and being a good boy in general, myself and hubby had bought him some toys to play with and id been very naughty and let him have cooked macaroni cheese. Due to my dog being a dominant small girl, I had moved her to my mums and she had played up as she missed me. I went out to sort my dog out as she had kept my mum up the night before and left him with my hubby, i new he would be fine as hed taken a real shine to him, hubby went to put rubbish out and hadnt shut inside door properly and doggy bolted out jumped 2 walls and took off down street, my hubby chased him for half a mile and was no more than 2 feet away from him when a group of people came out of their house, he took off again and was instantly hit by a car and killed, my hubby could only cry, I came and got him and arranged to get doggy to vets and off the street.  Tonight I have to tell my friend...She only arrives home today..Im not sure I can even begin to explain to her how sorry I am not because Ive killed her dog but broken my promise that he would be safe with me. Ive gone over the what ifs and if onlys cried sobbed not slept or eaten, my husband couldnt speak for 2 days. Ive been to the vets to see him as I wanted to tell him I was sorry and to give him a toy so he wasnt on his own down there. I feel like the worst person on this planet. Ive got to keep myself together as need to be strong for my friend, she has enough to deal with and ive made everything so much worse. Not to mention the poor car driver and everyone else who helped us. Im desperatly trying to find someone who can be there in case she never wants to set eyes on me again, as i dont want to leave her on her own. I dont know what to say Words just dont do it please help me xxxxxxx

I havent used his name as until ive told her doesnt feel right to mention him xxx

Edited by karina
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Oh I am so very sorry for what has happened. Honestly, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your husband's fault. Horrible accidents happen. I was on my way to take my cat to the vet, when he ran out the door of my house and jumped into the street and got ran over. It was terrible. 

I would just be honest and kind when you tell your friend. Expect her to be extremely upset. Can you take a mutual friend with you? 

I feel so bad for you all. Obviously, you are a caring person. Let us know how your friend is doing. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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karina   

Thank you for your kind words have a mutual friend who is going to be there, Mainly because if she is angry and wants me to leave i know she isnt alone. She has just come home from a funeral, she struggles with being a single working mum, she has depression and ive been trying to help her through and now ive added to her pain. I am hoping in time she will maybe not forgive me but see that I wouldnt want to hurt her like that and that i am truly sorry. thank you so much xxx

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KMB   

karina---I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is not going to be easy for your friend to cope with the loss of her furfriend. It clearly was an unavoidable accident. These things happen. Animals can be unpredictable and if they see an opening, they will take it. You and your husband had no way of knowing what was going to happen. Your friend will understand that you were doing your best in taking care of her dog. She will be grieving but she will also forgive and understand that is was an accident.

Keep us posted. We care about you and your friend. Prayers going out to all of you.

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KayC   

Karina,

I am so sorry.  I don't know if you've seen your friend yet or not, but I know this is hard, no way about it.  You are not a horrible person, neither is your husband.  Accidents do happen to all of us, no matter how perfectly we try to handle things.  Having said that, I know it doesn't change your guilt feelings.  From my experience I've learned that guilt has a purpose in our lives and that is to get us to change something that needs corrected.  Once we've learned from it though, it's so essential to let go of guilt because it quickly changes it's course of purpose into shaming us, which instead of helping us, paralyzes us, the opposite of the benefit of guilt!  So we hold onto the learning and let go of the shame.  I know that's easier said than done.

I hope this is of help to you as it has been to me:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

It's hard to predict how someone will react in such a circumstance.  Please give your friend room to react without personalizing, she has to get her initial feelings out.  Feelings may or may not be based in reality, mostly they are to contend with but they aren't good barometers.  Feelings fail to take into consideration the whole of the picture and they can overshadow and consume everything around.  So let her have her feelings and just be there for her as she'll let you.  The dust will settle.  I'm so very sorry for all you are going through, I know this is a very hard time for you, your husband, your friend.

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