Mother died Dec 16 at only 48

[JamesCox90]

Please help idk what to do anymore, tomorrow makes 3 weeks my mom passed away! A month ago everything seemed normal, she smoked cigarettes for 30 years and in just a months time she got to where she didn't have any energy, then couldn't even get out of bed, called 911, after she got to hospital on December 8th 2016 they said she had a blood clot on lungs, they tried to remove but was unsuccessful, was airlifted to Memphis hospital, to make things short, she passed away December 16 2016 only 9 days before Christmas. It just doesn't seem real, I've got 4 brothers in 26 I've got one older and 3 younger 11 14 and 18. Idk how to go on without her, she was my best friend, please tell me what i should do! I just wanna give up on everything! She was a strong woman, and the best mom i could ask for, i feel helpless. At only 48 my mom left this world and i just wish i could be with her. I'm ok sometimes but others i break down and ask God why would he take a mother and Grandmother from us.  I've got a son that will be 2 years old Sunday and my mother won't be here to celebrate it with me. Please help 

[Dgiirl]

James, my deepest condolences on your loss.  It sounds like your mother was a strong and wonderful lady.  I'm sure she loved you and your siblings with all her heart and soul. 

I'm not exactly sure the right words to say.  I lost my father on Dec 10th.  He was admitted to the hospital on Nov 11th and we were in and out of the hospital for the month until he finally passed away.  The stress and shock and loss has been very hard for me to deal with, so far I am ok, but I do feel like i'm numb.  I have this great fear that I'm about to break down any minute and will not recover.  But I keep thinking what my Dad would say to me if he was here.  First he would tell me he loved me with all his heart and soul.  Second, he would tell me he doesn't want me to be in pain.  He would reassure me that everything is ok with him and he is now in a much better place with no pain or worries. 

I do not know what your beliefs are but I do strongly believe my father is still with me in spirit and he is there whenever I need to talk to him.  I believe your mother is there for you too, and I do believe she would want you to be as strong as possible for your son and your siblings.  Your mother might not be physically there to celebrate your son's birthday, but she will be there in spirit.  This does not mean you cannot break down and have a moment of sadness.  In fact, it's very healthy to let these emotions out when you need too.  But it's also just as important to not let it stop you from living a life that would honor your mother.  Just know, your mother loves you and is still with you whenever you need her.

 

[Ashlee S]

Regret is a strong emotion that you can either let build you or destroy you. Make your mom proud. Every state has some type of group therapy (and regular councelors) that you and your siblings could talk to. Don't give up. It won't be this hard forever (even if it feels like forever). 

[Tibbits2u]

I know how you feel . I just recently lost my mom as well she wasn't as young as your mom but she did die younger than what is considered normal. its rough, grieving is a process it takes time. luckily you do have siblings and friends and other family around you to help you though this. your not alone ! One thing that really helped me after the fact was having a memorial "party". we invited all her friends, and former caretakers. we celebrated her life, ate and discussed our feelings. then everyone wrote her notes and we tied them to helium balloons and let them go.