Physical symptoms of grief

[Niamhjess00]

I lost my dad back in May 2016 after a long three year battle with cancer. While I knew death would always be the outcome, nothing in this world could have prepared me for the pain I would feel when he left. I miss him more every day and my life just isn't the same without him. For a while, I was in denial about the whole thing, everybody thought I was coping really well but really I just refused to believe that he had actually died and continued to live as though nothing had happened.

However, it is now starting to hit me that my dad has actually gone and I will never see, hear, hug him again and that genuinely breaks me. I am starting to struggle to cope and I don't know what to do as i start to come to terms with what has happened.

Recently I have been having lots of physical symptoms like headaches, nausea, sickness, aching, dizziness and I am constantly exhausted. Could this be caused by the grief? I don't really know what to do next and haven't been able to bring myself to seek real help. I'm only 16 and am struggling at school as I just cant concentrate on anything any more. I want to get help but I'm scared. 

It's hard that everyone around me has just been able to get on and live their lives but mine has just come crashing down before me. I just want my dad back. 

[KMB]

My condolences on the loss of your dad. I'm sorry you are so young to have to go through this. It could possibly be that your symptoms are due to your loss finally becoming a reality. Our bodies and minds take a huge shock and go into protective mode. Grief hits everyone individually, different stages and many emotions. What about your family, anyone you are close to for being there for you? A grief counselor at school? Sounds like you have been in denial for awhile, don't worry, this is completely normal. It shows how very much you love your dad and how important he was in your life.

Seek out counseling at school or somewhere else. Maybe talk to your family and seek counseling together. Please don't be afraid of asking for help, it will be a start for helping yourself. Prayers and hugs.

[savannahkristen]

Hey.  First of all, my heart goes out to you for your loss.  I lost my Dad to a nasty battle of cancer back in July.  I just recent turned 21, and I can't say I know exactly how you're feeling, because no one person's grief is exactly the same, but I do know to an extent.  My Dad was my entire world, and I was by his side the entire time he was sick, watching him fight, despite knowing what the outcome would most likely be.

As far as whether grief can manifest itself in physical symptoms?  ABSOLUTELY.  Both my mom and I have discusssed this.  Daily tasks become hard.  Tasks like cleaning the dishes, and making dinner.  I've experienced severe exhaustion since his passing - some days it's all I can do to get out of bed.  I've experienced dizziness, headaches; everything you've mentioned.  I know that it's very scary to take the step to talk someone, but I highly recommend it.  I've been seeing a therapist through the entire ordeal, and it's not a quick fix, but it helps.  It helps you feel less alone, and less trapped and controlled by the thoughts in your head.  

Trouble concentrating is completely normal.  And understandable.  It takes all I have to read the page of a book sometimes.  And one of the hardest parts is watching everyone else "go on."  What has helped me, is that even though it may appear everyone else has, they are still grieving, in their own ways.  I'm young, like you, and have found that a lot of people don't want to show it in front of you if you're younger.  They don't know what to say, so they just don't.  

I have many days where I sit and my room and think, "the world just lost THIS person; how can people possibly be smiling and laughing?"  I have even found myself envying people that are.  

My first suggestion would definitely be to talk to someone though.  It's a big step, but it is one toward healing.  

Please feel free to reply and chat with me.  Like I said, no loss is the same, but I am hurting with you.  You can pull through this, one day at a time. 

[Ashlee S]

I am 17, but when I was in my freshman year of high school, I lost my dad. It's ok to ask for help (even if it's scary). I can give you my email if you ever want or need to talk.