Members Mrs. Plummer Posted January 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Hello, friends, For the last 30 years, and certainly throughout his illness, there were comfort and care things I did for ny darling Ken Sometimes I've felt desperate to find something I can still do for him, and have developed little rituals that do help a bit. Instead of buying his morning papers, I can light a candle in front of his picture. Instead of cooking his dinner, I can run a rose from our garden out to his memorial tree and plaque 5 minutes from here, and I can trim tussocky grass around it. I've already bought our wedding anniversary gift - it's one of those little heart pendants that splits in half - I get half, his ashes get half and when I cash in my chips, they get put back together with us. I also buy those "For my husband" cards that make me cry openly in public ( and I see another member does that for his wife - it's a big comfort to just buy it anyway:)) Does anybody else do things like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted January 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Your rituals are very sweet and show your lasting love for Ken. He must be smiling and so proud of you. It takes courage for you to continue on and you found what works for you. You mention you are doing these things for Ken, but you are also doing them for yourself---finding your way through comfort. It's not time yet for me to get as far as doing anything to honor my husband. I have some pics I want to have enlarged. I bought the frames but when I think about doing the rest, I get shaky and start with the panic attack. I'm just not there yet. Peace, prayers and hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Emeliza Posted January 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 I filled my house, bedroom and office with pictures of my love. I visit his grave every single day, no matter the weather. I write a post every week on Thursday (day of the week he passed) about him so his friends and family and my family can know him how I did. It isn't too personal. I might share a song he liked or a clip from a movie he enjoyed. For Christmas, I got him a brick that will go on a board walk at the new Braves baseball stadium (he was a die-hard Braves fan). I bought a case to put two shoes in of his and display them in our bedroom. I put one of each of the shoes in his casket and kept the matching ones. They have significance to me that maybe I will someday share with more people than just those with us when I placed them in his casket. I wear my wedding ring on my finger and his around my neck (he was buried with a different ring---we both had pretty cheap rings as he lost his a lot and I lost mine once). I also wear his thumb print on a necklace. His work made up those plastic bracelets with wording in honor of him and we were given different bracelets as he donated tissue/bone and I wear them every day. So I totally get you and your ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted January 3, 2017 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 Emeliza----All very beautiful ways of honoring and loving your husband. Peace and hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 3, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted January 3, 2017 I wish I'd known about the jewelry they make from the ashes before I scattered them, but I still have our wedding bands and I carry him always in my heart. All of these things we do to honor them and carry on in their memory are meaningful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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