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Sister of Julia

Loss of younger 17 year old sibling in Car Accident

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My youngest sister Julia died this October, 1st, 2016, in a car accident. She was only 17 years old, she was so beautiful and trying really hard to get through high school and graduate grade 12 this spring (she had social anxiety).

However, she never made it, the SUV she was driving went off the highway while she was texting and driving and she was thrown from her vehicle. She died from a ruptured liver with several other multiple injuries. A neighbour recognized her vehicle in the ditch, my dad and I drove to the scene. Looking at the SUV you could tell it was bad, her body was still at the scene and I asked to see her (my dad couldn't do it). The paramedics let me see her in the ambulance, she looked so beautiful like she was sleeping, I hugged her head and kissed her forehead six times. Her death devastated me, before she started driving I was the one who picked her up and drove her to school everyday. I always made her wear her seat belt and I never texted while driving. I always think of the what if's. 

I was so excited to see her graduate high school this spring. I now can never take her dress shopping. My boyfriends brother is also graduating this year from the same high school, I have decided to still attend the graduation and prom, and try to honour my sisters memory. 

I thought going away for christmas with my family would help try to relax and cope better with the loss. Since losing her I cannot sleep, I started experiencing severe panic attacks in the middle of the night, I wake up struggling to breath and feeling like I am going to vomit. The worst nights I have 6 panic attacks in one night. After going away for christmas and arriving home the panic attacks have started again, when I sleep, drive the car, or even cooking dinner. I am normally a very positive happy person. Losing her so suddenly at such important moments in both our lives, we were both on the brink of moving forward to the next stages of life, me moving out and her graduating high school. I am tormented that I can never see her again or hear her voice again. I was looking forward to our next stages in life and to gaining a more sibling adult relationship. I was so excited to find out what career path she decided she was so talented in many things. In grade 8 she won a Canada wide french essay contest and won a Mac Book Pro computer.  I cannot deal with the idea of moving forward with life not having her around. The positive me is struggling. If anyone has any recommendations to cope with her loss and the panic attacks please let me know. 

I will never forget you sis, when I look at the stars I think of you. You loved star gazing. 

 

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Dear Sister of Julia,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the loss of your beloved sister. I'm so sorry. I know this is a very hard time, but I wonder if you are able to access any community resources. I would seek out support groups, counselling or try to get a referral from your doctor. I think its only natural to have panic attacks after a devastating loss. I hope you can find a caring and compassionate therapist to work through your grief.  Thinking of you. With love and hugs from a fellow Canadian.

 

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