Mick

First time here

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Hello everyone,

I lost my beautiful wife, Jess, six weeks ago at only age 39. She died unexpectedly and left my three young children and I without so much. We are hurting, but taking life a day at a time. Jess was everything to me. In the 15 years we were together, we literally only spent about 10-15 days apart. We lived for each other. We did not have any other outside friends. We did everything together, and now that she is gone, I feel like I have no one. Sure, there are people helping, and so many who are polite with their condolences, but I feel like I am in hell without her. I miss her so much. I found this forum and hope to discover I am not alone with this hell I am living. I try to be strong for the kids, but it hurts so deeply.

Mick

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Mick, 

You are not alone in this journey. Our circumstances are not the same, but we can understand the awful pain that you are experiencing right now. 
Remember to keep reaching out to others. While you probably don't want to talk, it will be a lifesaver for you. 

I am so sorry you had to seek us out, but I am glad you found us. 

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Thank you Claribassist13! I appreciate you responding. As you know, it hurts so much right now just to keep breathing.

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Hi mick 

Yes even breathing is a struggle right now. I lost the love of my life who has been with me for 14 years, on 13 November this year. It hurts so bad. You can't even describe the pain in words.

I am really sorry for your loss. I hope in time it will get better for all of us. Keep coming here. This forum has been a huge support for me. The people in our daily lives don't really understand what kind of pain we are going through. But here we do. We are all in the same journey of grief. 

Prayers to you.

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1 hour ago, Mick said:

Thank you Claribassist13! I appreciate you responding. As you know, it hurts so much right now just to keep breathing.

It will seem impossible at times, but we have to remind ourselves to just take one second at a time until we can handle more. 

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Hi Mick,

I am in a living hell too. Today marks two months of my husband gone from us. I'm left with two small children. He loves them dearly and was the best father I've ever known. So much has been taken from us. He battled leukemia for nearly two years. The struggle was real. 

I lived my life for him and the kids. I don't really have friends or family who I'm close with that's why I'm here and I'm always on my facebook. I'm hoping you can check in with us whenever you can. 

I don't have faith or pray anymore. All I can say is, you're not alone. We're here for you. I'm always online because it keeps me sane. I don't know what I'd do without everyone here. 

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Mick,

A living hell about describes the loss of our soul mate.  I am so sorry you lost your beautiful wife.  It's so damn unfair!  You've found a good place, it helps to express yourself, vent, lament whatever you need, here.  You'll find plenty of others going through the same thing  that understand.
Remember to take good care of yourself, not just your kids.  We need it the most when it seems it just doesn't matter.

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Mick----There will never be the right words to convey the pain of loss, but I am sorry for the loss of your wife and your children's mother. Life certainly is unfair and so many questions with no answers. You mention not having outside friends. I can relate since my husband and I spent so much time together, especially the past 6 years, due to his declining health. I mean, we do have friends and a small family, but since I had been in a caregiver role also, we just found it sometimes easier to spend time with each other. We didn't want to become a burden on others who had jobs, family.

You do have people helping you out and that's a great gift. Keep reaching out, there are going to be times down the road when the full reality sinks in and you will need that help.

You will need support for yourself and your children, you might want to consider family grief counseling.

Just keep breathing---sometimes that will be all that you are capable of doing to get through a day. I know you have to be there for your children, you will find the inner strength to be there for them.They lost their mom, I'm so sorry. Just try to take care of yourself and the children as your wife would want you to do.

This is a good, safe forum. I'm on here a lot to bring comfort where I can because it also helps me to get through each day. It is so unbearably unfortunate that we have to be on here but it is where we find the greatest understanding that we are not alone.For me, personally, there is no one else I know who has lost a significant other and the few people in my life that are still here for me have no idea the pain of what I am going through. Until one experiences this type of loss, they can't comprehend it.

Sending prayers to you and your children---

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I am sorry for your loss.  Everyone's path is different.  I am sitting at four months and it sucks, but it isn't the same all encompassing suckiness and dispair.  For me, I could tell I was becoming angry and bitter and I didn't like that.  So I force myself to go to dinner if and when people invite us.  I found a Netflix series to watch together with my youngest (12).  I still hermit and I still dislike going places, but typically while I am at whomever house, it is ok.  I can tell good stories of my husband and our life.  He was such and adventurer and made the most silly/stupid things fun.  Yeah, I might cry, but I love talking about him and people seem to love hearing about him.

Prayers and good thoughts for you and your little ones.

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Dear Mick, I (35) lost my wife (32) to postpartum depression exactly 2 months ago today, she was found 5 weeks ago. 
I am left with our now 4 month old boy. 
The last 3 days (Dec 24-26) had been laden with episodes of deep grief and longing, interspaced with periods of emotional spaciness and numbness. 

I found more peace writing about how I feel, and returning facebook messages of condolences and encouragement.

I explored grief forums, and I found that we are definitely not alone. 

I found words of wisdom online, and in books, that help me or will help me.  I made a google document saving all the wise words, or special encouragements that I can refer back to when grief hits me hard.

I came across this post at a different forum yesterday, and I found it inspiring for me.   Where I am today vs back then
 

Take care of yourself, and be easy on yourself, especially for the first few months. 

 

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Hi Mick

I know you're hurting - we all are - but I'm so glad to hear you're taking it one day a time. My husband, too, was my world and did everything together.  I was so truly bless to have had  nearly 45 years with him.   No matter the length of time we were given with our loved ones, (10, 20, 30, 45 or more years), when one is taken, it is body shattering (if that's a word).  Your body seems to want to shut down, but you know you can't and if you have children, you must go on for them.  

Your Jessie has entrusted your kids to you - to bring them up with love and to be good hard-working individuals.  I know you won't disappoint her or the children.   I know Jessie's spirit is still here with you and the kids - you just can't see her because you are in the earthly realm.  Know that what the two of you had will always be - no one and nothing can take that away - it all in the atmosphere.  Believe that when your earthly work is done, God will take your spirit and guess who will be awaiting your return - your Jessie.  Talk about a "Kodak" moment - better than that - an "Awesome" moment.     

You see, I know my husband is OK -  God, in all his infinite wisdom has touched my heart and shown me this.   My prayer is for you to experience God's strength and peace. All you need do is only ask and keep an open heart - God will do the rest.    

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