Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Deep sadness


FlowerCat

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Hi guys, I'm new to this forum but not to grieving so I hope I'm posting this in the right section. 

Its been seven years since my Brother and I lost our Mum after a short mental illness that ended in her giving herself alcohol poisoning. It was a very stressful and confusing time, I was 17 and my brother only 15. We (my brother, Dad and I) have all coped in different ways but I, until recently, have felt that we are in it together. 

My Dad began dating another women three years later. My parents were married for 23 years, so I felt that it was rather fast but I didn't want him to be lonely anymore. The new woman came with two children a couple of years younger than my brother and I. My Father made promises that our home would always be our home and that my Brother and I were always his priority. 

This year especially feels like my Dad is moving on from my Brother and I, with his new family that doesn't come with any grieving issues or reminders of his dead wife. He bought his new partner a house for them to live in, with rooms for her children but not for us. They have new cars, a hot tub and foreign holidays. He moved my mums cat into the new house only for his partners dog to chase her away. We haven't seen her since. I don't feel that I am welcome in the house. There are no photos of my family, no furniture from our old house either. I feel that 'the new family' are taking advantage of my Dad and his kindness to get what they want. They may not realise it, but all the perks they are getting are all because of the extreme and deverstating lose we have been through. It's not about money. It's about feeling pushed out of the life of the only parent we have left. 

I don't know how to bring this up without sounding conceited. I've been feeling concerned about it for some time but it's gone too far for me to have any impact now. I feel so sad, so forgotten. My Dad keeps talking about the future, he bought his partner a commitment ring just days before the anniversary of my mums death, but my brother and I are literally the past walking. We can't escape where we came from or replace what we have lost. 

I just don't know how to cope. I know I can't have the life that should have happened for us, but i don't think we deserve the treatment we are getting now. We've been nothing to accepting, even though it's not what we wanted. I miss having a family and a place to go home to. I feel very alone. I'm only 24. I'm not supposed to know what to do in these situations. 

Sorry this is so long. Thanks. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Dear FlowerCat,

My deepest sympathies and condolences on the loss of your beloved mum. I'm so sorry to hear what has happened with your dad. I know this is very hard on you and your brother.  And a very stressful time. I would suggest trying to talk honestly to your dad about your feelings. Or if possible to talk to family and friends or try to access any community resources. Its hard to know what to do at any age. But I hope you can find someone to talk to, I think this is very important. Thinking of you. Please take care.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.