Members Chasisdope Posted December 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted December 13, 2016 I know that we are all going through tremendous pain and it's hard to cope. But how do I help ease the pain for the children? Our three year old daughter has been talking about her daddy all day today. Non stop. She normally face time him herself. I had to show her only once and she knew how and always went about it on her own. Today, she says for me to do it. She laid her head down on my arm and literally stared at the computer screen waiting for me to face time him. She says, "Mommy tell him like this, come and sleep with baby, now!" I was crushed and speechless. I didn't know what to tell her so I changed the subject. Thankfully, she started jumping around and singing monkeys jumping on the bed. If anything reminds me and makes me feel the worst heart ache it would be seeing the little ones longing so badly to see their daddy. It's the worst punishment ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted December 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted December 13, 2016 I'm so sorry---I have no idea how you should handle you and your daughter's loss --- I would think there should be something online to access on how to let young children know that a parent is gone to Heaven. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sadaf Nazim Posted December 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted December 13, 2016 Clasidope I have no idea what to tell you. Maybe you should seek some proffessonal advice on this because kids mind should be dealt with real care. All I can say is give lots of love from me to your daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 13, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted December 13, 2016 Have you taken a look at the links I posted yesterday? One was on books designed to help grieving children understand. Here it is again:http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2011/11/using-childrens-books-to-help-with.html Family grief counseling is warranted when you have children, they're trained to help them through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chasisdope Posted December 14, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted December 14, 2016 She's only three. I have looked online and it says to be honest about it. So I finally pulled myself together one day and told her daddy has died and gone to Heaven. She understood that for a few weeks and mentioned herself that daddy is now walking with God. So, I thought oh I never told her on those exact words how did she know to put it like that. Anyhow, I was okay with it. After a couple weeks went by, just yesterday was when she asked me to face time her daddy and literally stared at the computer screen waiting to see him on the other side. Nothing is more painful than this. I managed to change the subject and she's doing okay today. If she was the type of child that was not close to him, I wouldn't be so torn but she was his favorite and vice versa. I hate this horrible burden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted December 14, 2016 Members Report Share Posted December 14, 2016 Hi Chasisdope---With your daughter being only 3, I can't imagine how you are dealing with it so well. It must be hard to find the right words to use that she can understand at her age. Death can be such a hard concept for a small child to take in. This is your daughter's first exposure to the realities of life and of course, you want the loss of her daddy to be as easy for her as possible, to avoid possible mental health issues down the road. Is it possible for you to play around with photo shop or something----like superimposing a pic of her daddy with a pic of angels, Heaven and God to help her understand where her daddy is? It's the only idea I can come up with for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted December 14, 2016 Members Report Share Posted December 14, 2016 Instead of face timing him, maybe you could encourage her to write letters or draw pictures for him instead? You could have her take them to the mailbox with the knowledge that she is writing to her daddy who's in heaven? Honesty is the best policy, but that doesn't make it any easier. I wish I had a better suggestion for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted December 14, 2016 Members Report Share Posted December 14, 2016 Chasisdope--Clari gave an excellent idea. Writing a letter or drawing a picture would give your daughter a project to focus on, a tangible way for her to express her love for her father. Letting her put it in the mailbox gives her the assurance, comfort, that her father will receive it in Heaven. You know the reality of this but it would be a therapeutic release for your daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted December 14, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted December 14, 2016 I would tell her facetime doesn't work in heaven but she can draw pictures for him and it will make him happy. Hang a stocking for her daddy too, I have done that for my George every year. I want him to know he is still of utmost importance to me. You might even have her select an ornament to put on the tree for her daddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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