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Lost my beloved sister

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I lost my beloved sister 24 days ago. She was my only sibling. We had a rare bond, so close, like twins. We did everything together. By giving a look, we knew what the other was thinking. Although both adults with grown children, we continued to giggle, laugh, and call each other by childhood nicknames.  A huge portion of my life died with her.

I'm grateful and remember my many blessings (healthy kids, wonderful husband, a great dad, 89yrs old). but the pain is so all encompassing. I will never again have a relationship so unconditional. Who will I tell my deepest, darkest secrets to? The kind of secrets you share with the person who grew up with you? 

I just stumbled upon this site and it has been very comforting. I'm so sorry for all of your pain but I thank you for posting your stories. It is encouraging to see that others have survived and even found joy. It's also good to know that there are others who understand what you're going through. Right now the pain is so horrible it's hard to believe I will survive.

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I am so very sorry about your loss. You will survive, but it will be a long journey. Take it day by day. Just breath and get through for now. Do you have others for support? 

We will be here with you,


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Thank you so much for your warm reply. I do have several wonderful people to lean on, but as I'm sure everyone else on here knows, there is only so much they can do. Ultimately we all have to come to terms with our own grief. All I can do, I guess, is hang in there. It's just so very painful. I never realized my body could make so many tears. Xo

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I'm so, so sorry for your loss.  I lost my older sister a little over three months ago (it'll be three months exactly tomorrow, Christmas Eve).  Like you, she was my only sibling.  I never married, so my relationship with my sister was the most important one in my life.  After our father left our family when I was in high school, the three of us - me, my sister and my mom - were in pieces.  Somehow, the three of us rebuilt our lives around each other, and we thrived into our adulthood.  My sister had recently transferred to a department in my building, and so we were able to carpool to work, have lunch every day, and then car pool home.  I didn't know it at the time, but these would be the happiest few months of my life.  My sister got to see our mother before and after work.  We got to hang out a lot more than we ever did before. 

Since my sister died, I've been struggling to find a way to move forward without her.  She was the most gracious, gentle and selfless person I've ever known.  She made friends easily, and at her funeral, they all came to pay their respects, more people than even I realized that she knew.  Her service was filled with stories about her, stories that made everyone laugh in recognition.  She was the type of person to bring out the best in everyone. 

I haven't recovered yet from her death, but I'm hopeful.  I know she would want me to stick around and look after our mother.  I'm comforted by the thought that someday, I will see her again.  She will greet me with that beautiful smile, and I will hug her and tell her how much I missed her, and it will be like she never left.  I know that grief is different for everyone and that the pain sometimes seems incomprehensible.  I feel it's important to take your time and grieve at your own pace.  Thank you for sharing your story about your sister.  It made me feel not so alone on this journey we're on. 

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