My dad died less than a month ago

[12345]

I'm 16, and my dad died almost a month ago. He was 52, but had been sick for almost 40 years. He'd been sick for so long that I had let my guard drop. His death was a really big shock to me, and I don't know how to deal with it. I've tried to talk to my friends at school but all they ever say is "awe"and I'm tired of it. None of them even try to say anything that might make me feel better. I've talked to my mom about it, but I don't feel like I can express my emotions around her. I honestly don't feel like I can express my emotions at all. The other night I had a dream that instead of my dad dying, he was only sick in the hospital. I think I dreamt this because I never actually got to say goodbye to him. I hadn't talked to him for a week or so before he died (my parents are divorced) so I feel like I never had the chance to tell him I loved him one last time. This month has been so emotionally draining and some how physically painful. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to, so I thought I'd just put this out there. It would mean a lot if someone replied, just to talk.

[Lisa k]

Hi 12345, sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is so hard especially at such a young age. Try not to get upset with your friends , for those who have not experienced the loss of a parent just really don't understand how it feels or how devastating it truly is.

I'm 42 and lost my mum last year to cancer.I was and still am struggling with her loss. I had no idea just how shocking grief is as I hadn't lost anyone that close to me.Talk to your mum and let her know how your feeling or maybe think about talking to a counselor if you think you need to. It's a tough journey grief but all of us here understand what you are feeling . 

Hugs Lisa . 

[Gena]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my father about a month ago, similar to your situation I feel I did not get to tell him how much I love him and what he means to me. I know that physical pain, I feel it in my chest and in the beginning it was so sharp I wasnt sure if I was going to get through it. I haven't gone a day without crying since his death. I am 23, which is considered young to lose a parent. but you are much younger and I can only imagine how difficult that must be, especially when your friends aren't able to fully understand or think of words of encouragement. just remember though, you aren't alone. Many of us are going through that pain and there are always people to talk to and express your emotions to. dont be afraid of your emotions, as they are what help you get through it in the long run. also remember that there is no time limit, this is your pain and he was YOUR father. You have every right to cry, or shout, or feel angry. 

[Ivette]

I'm very sorry for you loss. I lost my mom 4 months ago and my dad 12yrs ago. I am struggling and my friends don't understand or make this time easier. You have the right to grieve take as much time as you need don't let anyone tell you otherwise. What I have learned in the last few months is that people don't understand what "we" are going thru especially if they haven't suffered the loss of a parent. take it one day at a time that's all we can do, and cry when you want to cry. 

[Missingyou05]

Lisa K is right.

If you haven't been there yourself, you can't imagine what people are going through. I'm sure you will get that a lot of that as well. "I can't imagine what you're going through." The hardest part I find is that every single one of us have had a loss, or two, or many. We all feel the pain for each other because we know what our own pain feels like. However, we all have different stories. Not one of us will have had the exact same experience as another. That is true in life, and in loss. But please know, we will all get through this together. Keep talking, keep crying, feel what you feel whether its sad, angry, or even happy some days. you have a right to your feelings, and a right to feel them.

Your friends are doing what they feel is right, so give them a little credit for that. I can tell you, my father was a strong "mans man" and wouldn't show emotion or affection. I sat him down after my mother passed away and explained to him that "mom was the emotional support, and he was the logical, practical support all of my life. well now things are different and I need you to be both." If it is the divorce aspect that has your mother having a hard time discussing it, maybe try approaching her, asking her to help you through this, despite her feelings. I had a very "tell it like it is" relationship with my father, so I was able to be stern about it. If that is not the case with you, bring it to her on an emotional level.

[tacosandpotions]

Hi 12345

I'm so sorry you're going through this. 

Even though your pain is your own, please don't feel like your alone. I'm 23 and my younger sister is 13 and experiences the same sort of attitudes of people around her that haven't been through what we're going through.  

I too lost my dad this year a few weeks after christmas, he was only 51 just a few months away from his 52nd. I would love to know what to say to you but I find words just get in the way. But I'm here and other people are here if you need to reach out to talk. I won't have the answers but a listening ear can be soothing.  

Gemma xxx

[Monty]

I lost my Mum suddenly 8 weeks ago today. It is brutal. Unfortunately, this is grief. The price we pay for loving someone. Definitely agree with other response. Talk to your mum and tell her you are struggling. Hopefully she can organise some grief counselling for you. You might even be able to seek out some help through school. You need someone to talk to. Do you have any siblings?

Whatever happens we are here. We are all grieving too. You are not alone. Hugs to you 

Monty xo

[Pittiemama29]

Im 29 and just lost my dad just a little over a month ago. I honestly dont know what to say that hasnt already been said.

[385957]

Hey, I just want to let you know that I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father when I was four years old and I have had to grow up without that support, so I have some coping skills and mechanisms if you need to talk :))  I would love to talk if you need to and I want you to know that it does get better. It has been eleven years since my father died and sometimes it is still difficult but is very important to talk about it to others and to communicate your feelings. I care about you and I know how you feel and I am here to talk if you need it!! xxx.