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My Dad died and my mom is all alone as her children all live overseas


Augustgirl

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My Dad died in October very unexpectedly. He was working and healthy right up until his death from cancer which was diagnosed only five days before he died. My mum is now a widow. All of her three children live overseas and have built good lives and careers in different places with great support from both my mum, and my dad before he died. Whilst I love my life overseas, I can't bear the thought that my mum is now alone in the country with no family there at all, not even extended family and that we can't just hop on a plane for the weekend to see her. I imagine she's incredibly lonely all of a sudden and it breaks my heart. Moving back home is not an option for me at the moment due to financial/family reasons and my mum is too elderly to move to be with me or my siblings and start over again in a new country. How have others coped with leaving their only parent behind knowing how incredibly lonely they are?

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So sorry for your loss of your dad. it must have been quite a shock for you, your siblings and your mom. Cancer is such an evil disease. I hope it brings all of you comfort that he was diagnosed ( no wondering on the cause) and passed quickly. The family would not have wanted him laid up for months, or even years, suffering. It has to be extremely painful on top of your grieving for all of you siblings to be separated from your mom. Do finances allow for each of you siblings to make frequent phone calls to your mom? Does she have access to the internet for communication with you? Does she have friends, anyone who can stay with her or check in with her daily? Is she a member of a church where she can reach out to other members? Are grief support groups available to her? Through that, she'll be with other people who will understand her loss and whom she can relate with.

It is a good thing you reached out on this forum to ask for help. We are all struggling with loss of a loved one and need a safe place like this site. If your mom has internet access, she can join on here also. Prayers and hugs to you, your siblings and your mom.

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Spring4Ever

Hi Augustgirl,

i know your post is from 2016 and thank you so much for posting this. I hope you are still active on this site.

from what you explained, I am also facing the exact situation right now and don't know what the right option is.

before I say much further, could you please reach out and let me know how you coped with your situation? I feel totally lost and have that guilt in me that my mom is all alone. Sometimes I can't sleep at nights.

thank you so much in advance!

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