I don't think I can live without my angel baby

[Sophia23]

Hello everyone. 

I write this with an extremely heavy heart.

Yesterday 2nd December 2016, 3pm we said goodbye to our special little guy Bodie. 

Bodie was 13 and a half, pitbull mix.

There was never a dog like him, he was beautiful, caring, patient, loving, loyal and always wanted you there.

We got Bodie when he was just 6 weeks old and he has been the best dog you could ever imagine. 

For about a year now Bodie has been suffering from medium seizures were he falls on his side, throws up, fits and urinates. We had to run over and lift him up reassuring him, then he'd be fine and trot off. We took him to the vets were they told us he was in good condition for his age and the seizures were just down to general old age. As time went by Bodie started to poo and wee himself.  We would be making tea in the kitchen and turn around were thered be a giant dollop of poo. We think he was confused as he has always been really good house trained in his young age and had only been happening in his last year. The last week of him passing Bodie had been diareering in his own bed and lying in it. He couldn't control his bowels and my mum woke up two days on the run to him lying in his bed in a pool of diareer. She found it really unfair that we were keeping him alive.

What I am really sad about is that although his organs were failing him Bodie has always had such a strong heart and mind. When we take him for walks he can run and run and run for days, he plays with his ball or a cuddly or squeaky toy as if he was a puppy bouncing around! Even to his last days he was so full of life and joy. This is what breaks my heart so much. I cannot even put it into words how much I am hurting because of thus. He would look at each and every individual person in the room into your eyes with so much love and trust and affection. He was perfect, he was so full of love and trust for us.

My mum called the vet out on Thursday and they had all left for work. I had work at 10:30 and was the last person to leave the house. I looked at him in his little bed. His eyes once young and animated were kind of bulging out of his head. His skull once so fat and round had sunken, his face gaunt, his Bodie once muscular and proud was skinny and frail. My baby was sad, old age was truly present.

I texted my mum and begged her to wait another day for the vet so me and my older brother could be there to say goodbye, she agreed. She arranged for the vet to come the following day at 2:15pm.That evening I slept downstairs with Bodie, I pulled his bed next to me on the sofa and stroked him all night, he slept peacefully. The next day my family all headed to work again in the morning and I stayed in with Bodie all day. I held him close, I kissed him, I told him I loved him numerous times, I didn't want to let go and I didn't want the moment to pass. it was truly difficult and I just wanted him to stay with us forever. I fed him cheese spread on toast and apples (his favorite). Throughout the day I'd take myself away and sob on my knees to the point were I couldn't breathe. I knew the time was coming, I knew he was there then, right there! but in a few hours he'd be gone forever.... Honestly I've never felt anything like it. I can't even explain it. 

The family came home one by one. Each upset.  My dad didn't cry, he looked awful though. The vets came in, two ladies and looked shocked at how many of us were present. Me, my mum, my dad, my brother, my sister, my boyfriend. She set all the stuff aside and spoke to Bodie "aww you look tired don't you?" my brother was on the floor next to Bodie's bed holding his had as it rested in his hands - he didn't even lift his head up to look at the women. I don't want to go into detail but they sedated him and told us he could still hear so we all spoke to him and told him good boy and how much we loved him then she began to put him asleep. he let out a giant breath and kicked out his legs (which shocked me so much... I thought he just slipped away asleep) he then let out several more breaths to were I had to leave the room. Disorientated I was seeing things and my head began to spin. When I walked in he was gone my dad was hysterical crying. It was his only friend. He was all of our best friends. I was ten when we got him and I'm now twenty three. He watched me go from being a child to a woman. My little guy has gone and I am really heartbroken. 

Can anybody help me? I am really really broken. I need to see my little love. I need him back and I can't have a life without him.

[birdie06]

So sorry for the loss of your furbaby Sophia,that sounds like it was the best choice though to make,unfortunately and such a difficult one.We as pet owners don't like to do that nor do we like to see our furbabies living in pain,so we must out of the act of love. My cat,20,kidney failure,was in bad shape,she came up to me,looked at me,I knew what that look was,didn't want to face it,I held off for one week,she couldn't eat,sit up,walk,nothing! I would never do that again having another pet,this is to me where I think dignity comes in for our furbaby is by giving them that ' one last act of kindness.'

Always keep in mind Sophia you will be reunited one day with Bodie when the timing is right,you'll be together again,until then

keep Bodie inside your heart along with all memories. Prayers sent your way,so sorry.

[Sophia23]

2 hours ago, birdie06 said:

So sorry for the loss of your furbaby Sophia,that sounds like it was the best choice though to make,unfortunately and such a difficult one.We as pet owners don't like to do that nor do we like to see our furbabies living in pain,so we must out of the act of love. My cat,20,kidney failure,was in bad shape,she came up to me,looked at me,I knew what that look was,didn't want to face it,I held off for one week,she couldn't eat,sit up,walk,nothing! I would never do that again having another pet,this is to me where I think dignity comes in for our furbaby is by giving them that ' one last act of kindness.'

Always keep in mind Sophia you will be reunited one day with Bodie when the timing is right,you'll be together again,until then

keep Bodie inside your heart along with all memories. Prayers sent your way,so sorry.

Thank you very much. At this time your words go a long, long way  x

[KayC]

Looking at your picture of Bodie, that is the face of love.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I believe we'll be together again, that this life is where we get to know each other but the next one we'll be together forever.  It's so hard to adjust to the changes their passing means, but somehow we get through even this.  I'm sorry, I know it hurts so bad.

[Insanewith]

I know exactly what you are going through. I am also 23, I had to say goodbye to my beloved dog (Brandie) of 15 years that I grew up with on Saturday, December 3rd. She and Bodie seem to share a lot of similar characteristics in their old age. I did not want to put her down either because she seemed happy and playful, but she was also very confused and would lose control of her bowels in the house. Unfortunately, she fell in the pool when my dad wasn't watching and the pain of losing her is unbearable. I am so very sorry for your loss, but please just know that Bodie loves you dearly and he knows you love him dearly too. I know you and I both wish our beloved furry companions could've stayed with us forever, and I know you'd give anything to have him back. I've found comfort in knowing that one day, we will be reunited at the rainbow bridge but for now, they are at peace and I promise you that Bodie is still by your side. Dogs have this incredible soul and a part of them will ALWAYS be with you in their spiritual form. I have never lost a pet and Brandie was the only dog I ever had, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and Bodie will always be with you. 

[KayC]

Insanewith,

(((hugs)))